Teen Poetry #5 |
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Will I ever ( hold her in my arms again ) |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
It's only been one day and I miss, her head on my shoulder. Keep thinking about our last kiss, I really should have told her. Now I'm standing behind, with a closed hand filed with memories. But I can't keep denying, the voice deep in me. This can not be right, NO, it can't be so, it can not be the end. I wonder all the time, will I ever hold, her in my arms again. three months and fourteen sad days, since I last saw her eyes. in every letter I see her face, telling secrets in the night. So now I'm sitting here, with a fist of confrontation in me. But I gotta stop fearing, the voice deep in me. This can not be right, NO, it can't be so, it can not be the end. I wonder all the time, will I ever hold, her in my arms again. It's only been one day and I miss, her head on my shoulder. Keep thinking about our last kiss, I really should have told her. This can not be right, NO, it can't be so, it can not be the end. I wonder all the time, will I ever hold, her in my arms again. |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
it's sad... but nice writing. I liked it.. |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
good stuff man I liked it a lot I know that feeling oh so well but what can I say you either get over the girl you get back together of she's stuck on your mind forever. I choose to move on I think lol. anyway I liked the poem and the repetition and the change at the end rocked. I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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branden726![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Sad ![]() |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work, I really enjoyed the read and I was very drawn in... Zu |
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Brad Majors![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Been there and it hurts. Thanks for this! |
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Heavens Tears![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I enjoyed this one. I liked the repitition of those 4 lines. It was really great. *Amanda* |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The pain in this poem is so strong. *hugs* I'm sorry about the situation. It's not an easy one. Heartbreak is all over in PIP these days. I really enjoyed the poem, the lines, "Now I'm standing behind,/with a closed hand filled with memories" were my favorite. Nicely done. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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JBaker515![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
sad it is.. but great thoughts...words were perfect i guess?? loved it.. just keep ur head up, and everything will be ok!! I promise! ![]() $ Jeff $ : ) |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree with Marie. Those were my favorite lines also. Such a sad poem. VERY Nicely written. It kept my attention. |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is AWESOME! It's something I can relate to, a separation feeling so wrong, being together feeling so RIGHT, yet not knowing if it will ever be RIGHT again... ![]() Suga "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sad...and you written it very nicely...i enjoyed the read. im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
This poem is very sad and I can totally realate to it keep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
This was really quite sad but still very beautiful...I liked it alot..hope the situation gets better soon ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
that was an awesome but sad poem. nothing more to say...... |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
this one was really good. the repitition was perfect. great write Valerie "...And i want to take you down, but your soul could not be found, doesn't matter much you see cause your disease is killing me..." -Saliva |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
hey dude that is so sad, let me buy you a few rounds(root beer of couse ![]() "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this one here. Well done! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
this was so sad. i can relate this so much. the poem was great. i loved it. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Everyone seems to be in a depressed situation. Thanks for the beautiful read. keep sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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DancinQueen![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
sad ![]() *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ouch...well the thing you have to remember is that we draw strength from our experiences. Keep your head up and I hope all goes well with you. ![]() ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
i really liekd this poem, do u reckon it could be made into a song?! sorry songwriter here just tryin to tell the difference! anyway great work!i really enjoyed this poem! laura ~*~ Be honest and don't follow fads and fashion. do what you do and do it well ~*~jon bon jovi~*~ |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
This can not be right, NO, it can't be so, it can not be the end. I wonder all the time, will I ever hold, her in my arms again. i loved this last stanza....as with most of your work i love your flow..it was great thanks for sharing ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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