Am I what I am? - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #5

Am I what I am?

K. Rebel
Junior Member

since 2001-10-21

Posts 40
San Juan, PR

0 posted 2001-11-07 09:15 PM

I am the failure
who walks day by day
threw the streets
of little hope,

I am the hope lost
in millions
of trash
that torments my being,

I am who torments
the life of all
with not a way to win,
only to find loss,

I am the loss
between all of people
that little understand,
who desire my death,

I am the desire of nothing
which is lost threw life
only to find myself
in this tomb without end

I am the emptyness in the end
failed alongside my death
over with my only hope
of loss.

This poem I actually wrote in spanish first and the version in spanish is way deeper and better written than this one (I guess I write better in spanish)

Knight of Secrecy
Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-11-07 09:32 PM

I guess some or most people tend to write better in their natural language but its great anyway, I had a chance to hear the original or part and it's still great.

-C.M.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-11-07 11:09 PM

It turned out alright, language didn't bar away the depth of the poem really. The reader just had to see a bit closer than the writing led them.
Maybe post the spanish one too.

Theo

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-12-07 08:52 AM

I like the way each part flowed on from eachother. Very well done. You've expressed yourself well. I hope to see many more pieces from you like this. Maybe one day you can show us the Spanish version?

~AF~

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-12-12 05:36 PM

I think you need to start thinking better about yourself.
That's all I have to say

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.