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Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-10-23 09:10 PM

Maybe I’m an illusion,
A figment of your mind,
Formulated inside your skull,
A shield you hide behind.

Maybe I’m a delusion
Of who I’m meant to be,
A reflection of the demon
It seems that you’ve set free.

Maybe I’m a contusion
Marring your pretty face
A bruise upon your face’s flesh,
A childish disgrace.

Maybe I’m in seclusion
From the horrors of life,
Drowning in the crimson blood
That dribbles from your knife.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice Doggy' while you search for a rock." - Will Rogers

~gretchenp34~
Junior Member

since 2001-10-08

Posts 46
Ohio, USA

1 posted 2001-10-23 09:23 PM

i must say.......i like this poem!!!!! i dont know what it is about it....but i just like it so much!!!! very good!

Love is like learning to play the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play by your heart.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

2 posted 2001-10-23 10:30 PM

adamz youre getting better!...i love your newer poems oh so much, but theyre scaring me at the same time- buddy im here you know that right?
loved the form of this- it helped to tie the individual stanzas together quite nicely. youre an excellent poet, poet. keep writing...

"......",said the wise mute.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

3 posted 2001-10-23 11:27 PM

Oohh, dark! I like it though! Your rhythm and rhyming are done really well here! Keep it up!

It takes more work to love myself than to love others... I guess that explains it, eh?

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2001-10-24 07:47 AM

Maybe......

I liked this a lot...great job

Open ended.....well done

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

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