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Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

0 posted 2001-07-03 05:01 PM

I know its in my mind,
the red and yellow sky.
The trees a shade of blue,
so clear but yet untrue.
The sound from a grave,
the shadow on the wall.
Vivid images in the mirror
which aren't there at all.

^*~*^

The voice of the devil,
echoing in my mind.
But even if you look closely,
theres nothing left to find.
Insecurity of the soul,
the wordless, speechless whine.
The awakening in the morning
that lets me know I'm fine.

[This message has been edited by Kicking Kim (edited 07-03-2001).]

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-07-03 07:29 PM

This is a cool poem. It can sure screw with your mind when you dream. This was a very enjoyable read.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-07-03 08:45 PM

Wow Kimberly

This totally rocked!
I loved it!
Keep 'em coming!!!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-07-03 10:58 PM

The flow was beautiful. Another poem well done. I really loved this one a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-04 02:57 AM

loved this piece...awesome imagery with well expressed emotions...i truly enjoyed this poem...i can relate

...hope to see more.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

5 posted 2001-07-04 05:45 AM

Thanks guys! I am glad that you all liked it! Its just a few thoughts which I have when I dream and although it isn't real it seems so vivid in my mind.

^*~Kicking Kim~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Dana Samples
Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 68

6 posted 2001-07-04 06:01 PM

Wow!! that was a great poem!! i loved it!! keep up the great work!!

love- dana

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-07-04 11:02 PM

The flow here was excellent! However, the rhyme scheme was very inconsistant. The pattern changed once in the first stanza, and changed again in the last stanza. I think the poem would sound better if you picked one rhyming pattern, and stuck with it throughout. I relaly liked this poem, nonetheless. It was a verll written piece. Nice work.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-07-09 09:33 PM

That's an excellent read. Each line kept me wanting for more. *applauds* Keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

9 posted 2001-07-09 11:00 PM

Hoo-ray! I like, I like, and guess what. I like! Great write!!
Rhonda

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

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