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Teen Poetry #5
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Manifest
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Manifest |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
manifest desire ignite the fire that which burns within which consumes my sin present danger lurks near flesh consumes me with fear while the spirit calls my name the flesh desires much fame manifest lust no way to trust a desire that consumes with deadly fumes left me strangled my spirit mangled while the spirit calls my name my flesh lusts left untame manifest sin a death within complete darkness needing forgiveness sinner claiming victory rewritting his history new faith in God his world no longer a facade I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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| © Copyright 2001 the_rescue - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow, I like this one a lot!  |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hey Hey Hey, Well this is a great poem i havent read one like this in a while let alone wrote one in a while. |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
This is a very good piece. Keep writing! |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Wow...it makes you think about it. Is it just me or is there a change in the perspective. Or not the perspective, but the frae of reference changed. I donno, that's what I think ,and I like the idea and the poem itself, well chosen words, great read! No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Hey Rescue.  I really liked this alot. It flowed nicely. A wonderful job here! |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I didnt like the beginning for some reason, but as I read on, I really did like it. Great job! *Amanda* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really thought the poem rocked, but found the ending to be a tad weak. I think you can work on that a bit. Anyhow, nicely done here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great poem...youw rote it very nicely...enjoyed the read ...hope to see more...bye.im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is pretty good. I thought the whole thing was lacking... I've read better pieces from you. I still enjoyed this, so nice work. Thanks for sharing. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
good job jimmy. i liked it.  jo But His word was in my heart |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Great poem, I liked it - Cody - |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Great poem, I liked it - Cody - |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
That is really good. Unlike Dopey, I thought the ending was just right Keep it up. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
ya this was a well written piece... ending was...lets just say good.. could of been better, but then again so couldnt everything.. keep it up! ~Jeff~ |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Your second stanza kicked major ass!! Actually, the whole piece was really well done but the second stanza just wowed me to bits. Thanks for sharing this. ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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