umm..no idea..help with title?

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Teen Poetry #5

umm..no idea..help with title?

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

0 posted 2001-10-14 08:35 PM

I lay in bed at night
shaking, trembling
feeling such freight
wishing you were here

I talk to you most days
happy, cheerful
I get lost in your ways
I long for your touch

I sit in my school
bored, tired
I'm such a fool
I let you go

I think of the love we shared
smiling, happy
knowing I left you unprepared
for the heartache to come

Now you love me still
cheering, rejoicing
the emptiness I feel
is replaced by love

okay, this really REALLY sucks, but it's the first thing I've written in MONTHS, so pls, be gentle

I'm not as drunk as some tinkle peed I am!

Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile. :)

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2001-10-15 09:36 AM

This is great, I really enjoyed the read and I'm glad your feeling better and this doesn't suck I think it's great

Andrew

"Ph33r Me I eat N00bies Ph0R bReakFAsT"
- Replying might be your only hope of getting noticed -

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (edited 10-15-2001).]

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

2 posted 2001-10-15 09:51 AM

You know, it IS a terrible feeling to realize you've lost someone and it was your fault that you let them go. Regret is killer. However, it does seem to work out for you in the end, so, YAY for you.

Nice write.

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

3 posted 2001-10-15 10:40 AM

How could one's feelings suck
it will never suck
beautiful write, keep it up
nice to see you sharing again
Thanks for the wonderful read

hi Sweets

, Lizzy

, Jesa

, Ina

, Allysa

, Marie

, Cherish

, Jenn

, Chelsea

, Leah

, Kimmie

, Ashley

, Smurfy

, Alexia

, Kamie

, Kari

, Nan

, Sea

, Zu

, Lml

, Albertia

, Linc

, Jesse

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 10-15-2001).]

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-10-15 04:49 PM

nice to see your poems on the forums...hey i thought this was great...your poems never suck...as the poem was heartfelt and think you expressed it quite well.

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