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Teen Poetry #5
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Night Sets Free
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Night Sets Free |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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Night Sets Free train sounds as cool breezes rush, tree leaves sway lighty and touch, light outside the window burns, cricket chirps, then another's turn, sit inside a mellow room, stuck by walls filled by gloom, extend out to feel wet grass, night has come at last. August 24, 2001 Lakewalker "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 10-13-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Lakey!!! You're back!!! ^________^ Beautiful piece! I love the way you incorporate everyday things to set a certain type of mood within your poems. I could picture this so clearly in my mind, you did a wonderful job on the imagery of sounds. Hopefully, I will see more from you, because I miss your poetry...*hugs* Until your next post! ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This one was cool. It reminded me of life back in BC, where I used to live near a train track. It was always neat when the trains would roar by at night and you could see the silohettes of the trees in perfect detail in the light from the train. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
my hair turned gray since the last piece i seen from you...gee, you need to post more often,buddy...well, this was a wonderful piece short yet filled with awesoem imagery...i can almost sense the images and sounds ever clearly...well done...enjoyed greatly. =) |
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~gretchenp34~ Junior Member
since 2001-10-08
Posts 46Ohio, USA |
i like that poem.....it gives me a sense like im somewhere else Love is like learning to play the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play by your heart. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Lakewalker! You're back! That was so great!! Different from the ones you *used* to post! Great just the same though! If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
hey Lake! *Great* post, I could really feel this one! Post some more for us, eh?  Sarah *the chains which once held us are only the chains which we've made* |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice poem, cool imagery, well done. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
LAKEY!!!!  Yay! Alright, now this piece. Pretty good except when I read it through a few times, it seemed like the last line was out just a little bit. Then again I could be wrong but it's just how it read.  Anyway, killer imagery. Short but sweet. Post more often you.  ~AF~ "I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey everyone, thanks for reading this "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
Hey, I liked your poem. It was very well written. Keep writing! ab  *~We are all pencils in the hands of God --Mother Teresa~* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Nice to see you in here again Lake I do hope that you do visit pip more often though  I see you've never lost your touch Actually, based on what I remember, you've always been good with scenery keep it up and thanks for sharing again hope to see more soon là où est mon amour? |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Yooooooooooo wats up lake!? I havent seen you around here in a while!!! Great poem tho...nice job Post more often boy!!ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The poem had wonderful flow and was well written, but I think the last line might have needed an extra syllable or two to fully finish off with a nice flow to it. Other than that I felt the poem hit home quite nicely. Always good to see you posting Lake...  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
hey everyone, I really appreciate the comments. I haven't had a lot of time to be on here lately, I'll see what i can do for the future though "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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