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Teen Poetry #5

i cannot find the word...

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2001-10-11 01:34 AM

The anger b o i l s
down
to the salt
on the tongue.
Caustic
words
feebly suFFocated
by one's own
will,
eat away,
burning a hole
through flesh
and sinew.

Is hatred too
soft a
word?

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2001-10-11 02:33 AM

No, hatred isn't too soft. It's brought along nicely with the words before hand. Wow...it's so nasty and dark and that is why it rocks!

Angry poetry is one of favourites to read. Thanks for sharing it.

~AF~

"I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you"
Nelly Furtado - On the radio

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

2 posted 2001-10-11 08:10 AM

hatred is never too stong of a word...i love the way you put this together..

me

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2001-10-11 09:59 AM

Hatred is never too soft of a word...especially not in what you described here..nice job

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-10-20 12:51 PM

"suFFocated"

how you typed the word is very intriguing
now, I'm trying to figure out the meaning into it
I guess I need help
What does it symbolize? Or is it only a typo?

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

5 posted 2001-10-21 12:53 PM

Wow! Your modern techniques, such as your arrangement of letters and words to make this poem sounds like a breaking up transmission are admirable. This is a sweet poem. The content is great.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2001-10-21 05:56 PM

ooohhh.... no hatred isn't... nice expression here! Once again, I love your work!

If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

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