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LucidityNow
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 118
Canada

0 posted 2001-10-10 02:44 AM

Mankind - proud conqueror and king
swings its flag of primal glory to the winds
Titans of the power-myth that failed
Neanderthal hunger for the flesh of war so frail

For each day of war is a failure for man,
enslaved to her mordial genes
Illusions bleed from their fetid cores
bent to their rotten extremes

We, the plague of Terra Firma,
nature´s grand and last mistake
plant the poisoned seed of cancer,
set the severed fruits awake
Burning like frozen relics
in god´s archaic graveland

Burn the visionaire
Kill the ideologies
Mankind must die

The doves and the angels return to their graves
with flames on their pestilent wings
while mushroom-clouds haunt their virginwhite skies
to rape their utopian dreams

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-10-10 03:00 AM

WOW...*is speechless*....

i love dark poetry...and this has got to be one of the darkest poetry ive read!

"For each day of war is a failure for man,
            enslaved to her mordial genes
            Illusions bleed from their fetid cores
            bent to their rotten extremes "

i couldnt agree with you more.war is such a wasteful thing- have you read any of wilfred owens poetry? this is so powerful. i enjoyed this one so so much. a lesson to be had by all. good stuff lucid. very well done.

The day I stopped loving I died.

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

2 posted 2001-10-10 03:07 AM

WOW! this is amazingly good and dark. Really well done here.

"by takeing no risks you are really risking everything"
Vic's RE book

Carolina
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 224
Myrtle Beach, SC

3 posted 2001-10-10 09:19 AM

This is awesome. and oh so true. I love your representation of peace with the doves and angels, and burning wings...

Live today as if it's your last. Love today as if it's your first. Lisa

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-10-10 12:54 PM

Now this is what you call fantastic poetry! There are far too many parts in this piece to pick out and go "gee wiz!" at so I'll stick with saying the entire piece is exceptional. The concept of a Utopia in itself is amazing but to write about it in such a black way truly shows how talented you are. The last few lines definitely bring it all together nicely which is always a good thing to see.

Not much more can be said because I'm lost for words. It's such a beautiful piece in it's own right but in another it is so horrifically dark. Well done and I hope to see many more like these.

~AF~

"I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you"
Nelly Furtado - On the radio

Delirious_Smurf
Member

since 2001-08-08

Posts 90
Nothingness,P.R.

5 posted 2001-10-10 05:39 PM

Amazing poem!
I really don't know what to say that hasn't already been said....bravo!

I'm a professional happy puppet.

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-10-10 11:36 PM

I can't say much either. Just the entire feel of the poem was good. And the images! my oh my. Great job here.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

7 posted 2002-04-11 08:42 AM

BUMP!!

The feeling of Sleepiness when you're not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.-- Edgar Waston Howe

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