Teen Poetry #5 |
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That's when (you said) |
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Tamma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV ![]() |
Ok, can someone PLEASE hack into my mind and kick Justin out??? I need to get rid of him, cause I have a wonderful bf now. ~*~ For Justin ~*~ A year ago, we were still friends But then something happened… You said you loved me And gave me your ring Thing were good for awhile Until my birthday came That’s when the fights started That’s when things went bad That’s when we stopped being friends That’s when . . . You said you weren’t sure if you loved me I miss the way we used to be I miss the friendship we once shared... "A friend's shoulder makes a |
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© Copyright 2001 Tamma M. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Good poem, but rather brief. In my opinion, this poem would have been much better if it had gone into more detail about the various stages of your friendship. I know that can often be a painful thing to do in poetry, but that is often what poetry is about, both fortunately and unfortunately... "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
hmmm Personaly I like the brevity of it. Oft' times ppl go into overkill in the details of a situation when all is required is a nice short Glimpse. Good poem, I enjoyed it. "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
*takes your mind and kicks that icky boy out* omg i know the feeling big time! great poem. but you want my opinion if you don't wanna think bout him any more don't write about him cus it sounds like he isn't worth it. no officer i wasn't the one that ran up to acire and javi and kissed them than ran away it was that girl *points at lizzy* |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The ex's always stay there. it doesn't matter if they were great in friendships or great bfs/gfs. The memory might ease up a bit though in the long run. You've just got to wait this one out, Tamma. Thanks for sharing. Remember to reply too. ![]() ~AF~ "Reality is only a feeble rendering of the energy brought forth by the imagination" |
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