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Teen Poetry #5

Dare

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

0 posted 2002-05-20 07:27 PM

9th i n n i n g,
about time to take a d a r e.

S l e e p l e s s nights,
spent wondering if you really c a r e.

O n c e upon a time
we would’ve made quite the p a i r.

Not without h o p e,
I have only these words for you,
Life will be fair,
for you and I are r a r e.

[This message has been edited by Cinderelly (05-20-2002 11:26 PM).]

Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 551
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2002-05-20 09:59 PM

I like what you were trying to do with this piece. The experimentation was cool. I just don't know if it came across as clear as you meant it to. For me...I actually saw the chances dwindling away with the words that were spelled out like that. I don't know.

~Susie

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-05-23 10:21 AM

I really hope you two get to be together

Nice job..short and sweet and to the point!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

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