Teen Poetry #5 |
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Bittersweet |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Mirage of sunlight sinking low Which cast upon the earthen brow That lay beneath the wintry snow Shivering, quivering silently. An apple's growth in hairless trees A violin sings a tragic tune Its bow, a single thread of breeze Echoing, beckoning violently. A vine of old surrounds a stone A flower's tips begin to bleed Within this world all life is shown Hungrily, painfully singing. Her fingers stretch beyond the sky To midnight sun and morning moon And as the ink begins to dry... The words are etched eternally. ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I think I caught most of this but I'll have to come back later on and give you a better reply on why I liked it. ![]() Keep posting these. It's good to see your fake muse left you. ![]() ~AF~ Please put waste in a bin |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Woo...I liked this one. Good job. -Adam |
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dastard Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 55in tearing silence |
... do you need to know why exactly I liked this? If yes... sorry! ![]() "Only two things are infinite; the universe and humans' stupidity, but I'm not sure yet about the universe." ~Albert Einstein |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Well done Leah! Excellentia! |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow, this is fantastic! ![]() great writing!! |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was really great..somehow this reminded me a lot of Fall... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
You are too good. That is why I liked it. ![]() Now seriously, you are a great writer and anyone that can write pieces like this have my respect and admiration. It isn't something easily given out. There are some great writers in here that I don't love reading as much as you. Wooooo...you're special!! lol ![]() "An apple's growth in hairless trees A violin sings a tragic tune Its bow, a single thread of breeze Echoing, beckoning violently." For starters, that is really well written. You've captured the beauty of music yet the most sincere feelings. Putting those two things together pretty much gives you a fab piece. Well done on this. Keep sharing them, you hear? ![]() ~AF~ |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
...ditto with what eJ had to say.. ![]() hehe...ok, this piece is simply deep that has been expressed with the titles(bittersweet) discription VERY well...you sure are a great writer, Leah...and that is exactly why i love reading your pieces...enjoyed. as always..buh bye ![]() |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I bow in front of such talent *Standing Ovation* hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
*Stands up clapping and pushes Acire out of the way* WAAAHHOOOO!!!!! LOVED IT! In the library...WOW! Every now and then I like to stick my foot in my mouth... |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmm... I think that I really like this one! I really like the ending, it wraps it up so well! Thanks for the read! If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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