Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Door To My Soul |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
You force me to rise, From my bed full of protection. I cant face the world today, Me being so far from perfection. You wont leave my sight, Standing next to my door. Don’t u understand?? I cant deal with this anymore!! Tears fall now, Slowly from my frosty blue eyes. A cold haze came over them, It was really no surprise. Happiness was always out of reach, Always an inch from my fingertip. I could never grasp it, I could only invision it. I don’t think I can be w/u anymore, Im not so sure it’s the right thing to do. Im not happy either way, Why bring you down to? You gave me the happiest days, Forever the memories will be engraved in my heart. You gave me the coldest days, Where the sky grew threatening and dark. I cant give you what you want, You don’t have what I need. My worst fear came true, And I fell on my knees. I’m not strong enough for your challenges, Im not prepared for your actions. You tore my shield down, Now cryings my only reaction. I just want to be alone, I cant see you anymore. Im tired of chasing you and repairing myself, So please just close the door… |
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© Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
TeChNo KiTtY Junior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 22Wisconsin, USA |
wow..that was beautiful. i could feel every word. i know exactly how these feelings feel. it hurts to love so much you feel helpless, especially when you know you're hurting yourself. great work ![]() "i tried so hard, and got so far..but in the end, it doesn't even matter.." |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
great poem very well written. robin bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura,andrea,jessa and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks guys ![]() |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here shugar. I fancied the poem muchly ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The ending is fantastic. It reminds me of that movie Sliding Doors when gwenny tells him to walk through the door and close it behind him. ![]() Anyway, nicely expressed. One thing is that it was off in some parts. other than that, great work. ![]() Thanks for sharing. ~AF~ Please put waste in a bin 2001 McDonalds Corporation Printed in Australia (12913) [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 09-23-2001).] |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
it hurts just to read it. It's a really well written poem good job. |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
Very good ![]() I'm always myslef. Isn't that enough for you? |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Awwww... ![]() ![]() ![]() Jenn "In the words of a broken heart, it's just emotion taking me over; you'll never see me fall apart, in the words of a broken heart." |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you everyone ![]() Anonymous--Ya kno its funny i neva even saw Sliding doors ![]() |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Wow....another beautiful poem but your poems always are.I loved this one it was very well written keep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you Lauren ![]() |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
You should see it. It's a good movie. ![]() *ZAP* |
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DancinQueen![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
aww babe this was beautiful..very sad. But i know hor youre feeling, as always ![]() *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Alyssa![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
very nice, i really enjoyed "I swear officer! It was PINK." |
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SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
oooo you gave the chills .. but very very nice i loved it!!!! !~Andrea~! |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow, i really like this alot and i can totally relate! more so to the part that goes: Happiness was always out of reach, Always an inch from my fingertip. I could never grasp it, I could only invision it. anyways, awsome job! the road to fame is long, and theres no escalator..but dang, ill burn sum calories getting there! hehe |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I've heard so many mixed reviews about Sliding Doors..lol i dunno which one to believe..but the guy bashing party is constantly on my mind..thanks for the idea kiley!! Everything seems to be getting a lil better..i actually bought him an expensive gray shirt from STRUCTURE..arent i such a good gf lol yea right..n e way thanks everyone for reading and replying! im glad you all enjoyed ![]() |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
you've expressed yourself beautifully though it is melancholy and full of lamentation. Hope things work out. thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Oh that is so sad, and so good! Oh wow, I'm speechless... If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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NathanS Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106CA |
An awesome piece of work, i must say! You seem to write nothing but totally kick butt poetry!! Library for sure! -Dreys I am a flying patato, A Patato of flight, bare your teeth, im coming to fight |
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HeAvEnS AnGeL Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168The Hot Girl From Canada |
i loved this!!! it's going in my library |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks everyone for your replies! Im glad you all liked it ![]() |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
I really liked this. Smile you will feel better ![]() |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks honey ![]() |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Michele! ![]() I'm absolutely blown away by this piece...I loved it bunches upon bunches...The emotions in here are so powerful and so simply, yet wonderfully expressed...GREAT JOB! Every now and then I like to stick my foot in my mouth... |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
powerful piece, hope all is well, Michele...enjoyed your writing, as always...and wonderful job with the poem. "This little light of mine...im gonna let it shine. *sighs* Let it shine...let it shine. Let it shine." |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Great poem, reminds me of some thing that happened in the past, filled with lots of emoition |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks everyone for your replies!! I appreciate it ![]() ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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gracianna Member
since 2002-02-17
Posts 165A 14 year hell |
wow... I give a whole new meaning to the word 'sad.' |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
woah im glad someone bumped this back up to give me the chance to read it. this was just full of emotions and just squeezed my heart tight Michele. you did very well on this and i hope bumping this doesnt bring back bad memories for you. *hugs to you* and hope all is well hun. ..tiff.. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
wow i feel like that all the time if you figure out how to deal please tell me i hope you feel better soon letting go someone who you hold close to your heart is a hard thing to do as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u. |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Wow guys..im honestly so suprised to see this bumped back up here but im also very happy ![]() ![]() It hasnt brought back any memories that are bad b/c not much has changed since i wrote that in september...as for figuring out how to make things better and dealing with it i think only time can tell.. Thanks again everyone! mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo" |
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xerxes Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 34 |
very profound, beautifully written, i believe that you have created a deeply moving story of countless souls and condensed it into a realistic landscape where only few dare walk. I'm seen walking there from time to time, next time I'll look for you. wonderful work. -Xerxes |
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BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA |
I've been gone for a while and to be able to come back and see this poem, wow. Compleatly took my breath away. I've been in the same shoes baby doll, all you can do is grit your teeth and keep going, just remember, it can only get better. ---Night Angel |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Another good one. I have someone in mind when I read this one. I can relate. Hope things are OK. I know how this feels and it sucks Jon "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
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