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Dark Illusions - Part One
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Dark Illusions - Part One |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
I'm trying my own little series type thing...enjoy! Hmmm...this is reflecting how I feel right now, I think it's more of a story than anything...but that's what I'm good at! --------------------------------- Dark Illusions- Part 1 As I try to stand up to destiny and fate... My armour and flesh are hacked... All of my hopes and dreams have been shattered. Pieces fall and maliciously slash my arms...they bleed, Thus, claiming the life of my happiness. The dark and dreary underworld suites my faith, My energy is sapped by the omnipotent powers of the dead. I struggle to get up, to maintain my freedom... But my efforts fail as I'm kicked to the ground, And spat upon by my ‘loved ones'... The dirt on my face and blood on my brow, Shows only a portion of my undying pain. Unforgiven mistakes and broken promises pave my path. A path that many have tried, and many have died... I look up to see my last saviour...Death. He rears his ugly head and brandishes his ebony sword, As I wait for the Coupé de Grace...I pray... I pray for the final blow to be slow and agonizing... Just so I can remind myself...of the pain that life has brought... Happiness is mortal, but hate and war is eternal... Fighting for happiness to causes war... Is it really worth it? |
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| © Copyright 2001 Alex-lee Hryhorczuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
"Happiness is mortal, but hate and war is eternal... Fighting for happiness to causes war... Is it really worth it?" It is a question asked over and over again by everyone. Is out happiness worth fighting for? I can tell you mine isn't... I love this piece. It's very dark and out of your normal style. I'm happy to see you doing a series. Judging from this first part, it is bound to be a ripper!! Keep writing and thanks for posting.  ~AF~ "Who needs enemies, |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, wow this was really good and dark...i actually had to read it twice to fully absorb it. my favorite lines are pry..I struggle to get up, to maintain my freedom... But my efforts fail as I'm kicked to the ground, And spat upon by my ‘loved ones'... i know how you feel about that...good poem. thanks for sharing. -bergundy- i'm a penguin! i'm a penguin! i'm a cute lil penguiiiin! i'm a penguin i'm a penguin! i eat FISH!--tis the pretty penguin song |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i liked this poem it was very good and well written. robin bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura,andrea,jessa and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Thanks y'all! I'm not feeling to ducky latley...you've made me hap-py! |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Eh, it can't be that good...this is the lowest ammount of replies I've ever gotten! Then it comes to be that soothing light at the end of your tunnel... |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
just because you don't get many replies doesn't mean it's sucks, alex...it's all in the prespective. Anywho, can't wait to see more of the series...if i stay... |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Very powerful write. The end stanza left my mind spinning. I know I'm new to the forum so don't get mad but the part about Death being your last saviour- "I look up to see my last saviour...Death. He rears his ugly head and brandishes his ebony sword,..." - kinna got to me a little since, although I refuse to go to or support any form of a church, I am pretty religous when it comes to God and or Jesus, and I just don't see Death as any sort of saviour. All death is pain, to not only yourself but also everyone else who cares about you. My thought's... Ex Animo, Aaron |
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Delirious_Smurf Member
since 2001-08-08
Posts 90Nothingness,P.R. |
I loved this alot! It was awesome. The last words were deffinitely great...it was all kick bootay!  I'm a professional happy puppet. |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Thanks Leah! And I'm not mad Aaron! Don't worry! Heh---I guess it is all in perspective! Then it comes to be that soothing light at the end of your tunnel... |
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