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pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2001-09-07 08:20 PM

**ok...i'm still working on this one but wanted input on it so far. it's not exactly (at all) like most of my work, but this one's more of a song anyway. so here it goes.....

alone she sits
wondering how
alone she starts
wondering when
alone she stares
wondering why

weary from the chaos
she reaches for her security
overpowering, overtaking,
her only sanity
the sharpened steel
reassures her as she
tries to sort things out

wondering how
to make it stop
wondering when
this pain will end
wondering why
it doesn't hurt
anymore

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-09-07 08:28 PM

so far it's pretty good, kind of dark, I'd like to see it when it's finished

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-09-08 01:23 AM

i can relate...in a "boys perception"...i really like this piece sO far...VERY thought-provoking and the ending..hit me.

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-08-2001).]

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-09-08 02:56 AM

Ooo this is REALLY good. Like Sea said, dark but dark is always a great thing to read. I felt i connected with this one. So for that, it has to go into the library.

Thank you for posting this and keep sharing.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-09-21 04:23 PM

Pharon, I am a complete fan of your poems. Another poem that I truly did love. Well done and I hope to see the finished version and much more of your poems in the future.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

5 posted 2001-09-21 06:27 PM

OooOOOooo! i like a bunch! i definelty wanna see the outcome of the whole thing!

"I swear officer! It was PINK."

XFalloutX
Junior Member

since 2001-05-13

Posts 31
NC

6 posted 2001-09-22 08:20 PM

Its really good. Like anonymous albert ?
said "i can relate...in a "boys perception" I liked it alot
Later

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

7 posted 2001-09-23 08:12 AM

i liked this is reall good.
i would like to see the finshed thing it will be even better.

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