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Teen Poetry #5
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luckyducky_505
Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53
Kentucky, USA

0 posted 2001-09-04 08:36 PM



I wrote this because I was so happy to just get a chance.

You knew I liked you but you didn't care,
I tried to talk to you but I couldn't bare,
To see you smiling at my face,
Thinking how it could never be.

Then one night you called my home,
Asking to meet me somewhere,
I thought you were joking but I still fixed my hair.

When I got there you told me just how you felt,
And to myself I thanked God for the cards he delt,
Months went by and I thought we were still strong,
But I guess i was wrong!

You wrote me a letter to let me know the sit.,
It hit me like a bomb!!

At least I got the chane I wanted,
I just wish It could have lasted.



Smile -- because you never know who's falling in love wiht it.

You are only how you want yourself to be  

Wehn you dream you imagine and wh

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 09-15-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany L. McDonald - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-09-04 10:32 PM


GRrrr.. The beginning was so happy and sweet...and the end was all heartbreak and yet...chin still up kinda deal. Big suprise. Bummed me out. HeHeHe ANYWAY! Liked the read. Thought ya did well. Haven't seen a post from you lately I don't think-So glad to see it.  

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-09-04 11:34 PM


i liked the poem...but wOW...

"At least I got the chane I wanted,
I just wish It could have lasted."

REALLY loved the last lines...totally related to it!

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2001-09-04 11:35 PM


i thought that the content of the poem sucked- its soooooooo annoying when you like sumone so much and it doesnt work out in the end...grrrr...i hope you're ok now!
you did well on this poem but i thought that your flow was off at a few places just a little bit. i liked to format too. i hope to read more from you!

S
  I
   L
     L
    Y

   P
     E
        E
     P
   S

luckyducky_505
Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53
Kentucky, USA
4 posted 2001-09-05 05:52 PM


if anybody has an idea for a title please let me know!!

Smile -- because you never know who's falling in love wiht it.

:) You are only how you want yourself to be :)

Wehn you dream you imagine and wh

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-09-15 12:10 PM


First of all, I edited out the asterisks and put a word in there for it's agains pip guidelines to hide profanity with asterisks.  Just email me what you want in place of the word and I'll gladly do it for you.

Secondly, I feel the same as Jesa.
The first part was so sweet and everything tumbled down in the end
I liked it though, simple and easy to understand
thanks for sharing
keep it up and keep em coming

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
6 posted 2001-09-15 06:19 AM


want me to beat em up for ya? i hate when guys are just like "i want a new gf" that suxs! i'm sorry that happened to you guys can be such jerks. gotta be pg-13 with my words lol!
robin

Things I Have Learned I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2001-09-15 04:56 PM


It seems that you enjoyed having the time with him....while I know breaking up hurts, that just means there is another around the corner.....that means new excitement, new fun and new feelings to discover....enjoy.  

"It's true/the way I feel
was promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my memories
even if you're not with me
I'm with you"
~LP~

lil_pwheeler
Junior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 39
here
8 posted 2001-09-15 04:59 PM


Glad you got your chance. For not many do.

No one dies a virgin, life screws us all

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
9 posted 2001-09-16 01:25 PM


OK, the way it read looked like he broke up with a note. Then again, I could be insane and reading it all wrong. Anyway, if he did, he's pathetic and weak!! DIE!
It's always sad when breakups come....unless you don't like the person...but anyway, hope your alright and all.

Thanks for sharing.  

~AF~

"Who needs enemies,
When you've got friends like these
Caught between me and myself again"
Motor Ace - Enemies

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
10 posted 2001-09-16 09:09 PM


"At least I got the chane I wanted,
I just wish It could have lasted."
i cant do the correct quote thing, but thatll work wont it?

well as said
Im glad you got yer chance.
I wish id have got mine...the begining was sweet

"Its a great day tobe alive, I know the suns still shinin when I close my eyes!"
Travis Tritt

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