Teen Poetry #5 |
no title |
luckyducky_505 Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53Kentucky, USA |
I wrote this because I was so happy to just get a chance. You knew I liked you but you didn't care, I tried to talk to you but I couldn't bare, To see you smiling at my face, Thinking how it could never be. Then one night you called my home, Asking to meet me somewhere, I thought you were joking but I still fixed my hair. When I got there you told me just how you felt, And to myself I thanked God for the cards he delt, Months went by and I thought we were still strong, But I guess i was wrong! You wrote me a letter to let me know the sit., It hit me like a bomb!! At least I got the chane I wanted, I just wish It could have lasted. Smile -- because you never know who's falling in love wiht it. You are only how you want yourself to be Wehn you dream you imagine and wh [This message has been edited by acire (edited 09-15-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Tiffany L. McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
GRrrr.. The beginning was so happy and sweet...and the end was all heartbreak and yet...chin still up kinda deal. Big suprise. Bummed me out. HeHeHe ANYWAY! Liked the read. Thought ya did well. Haven't seen a post from you lately I don't think-So glad to see it. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked the poem...but wOW... "At least I got the chane I wanted, I just wish It could have lasted." REALLY loved the last lines...totally related to it! if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i thought that the content of the poem sucked- its soooooooo annoying when you like sumone so much and it doesnt work out in the end...grrrr...i hope you're ok now! you did well on this poem but i thought that your flow was off at a few places just a little bit. i liked to format too. i hope to read more from you! S |
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luckyducky_505 Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53Kentucky, USA |
if anybody has an idea for a title please let me know!! Smile -- because you never know who's falling in love wiht it. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
First of all, I edited out the asterisks and put a word in there for it's agains pip guidelines to hide profanity with asterisks. Just email me what you want in place of the word and I'll gladly do it for you. Secondly, I feel the same as Jesa. The first part was so sweet and everything tumbled down in the end I liked it though, simple and easy to understand thanks for sharing keep it up and keep em coming hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
want me to beat em up for ya? i hate when guys are just like "i want a new gf" that suxs! i'm sorry that happened to you guys can be such jerks. gotta be pg-13 with my words lol! robin Things I Have Learned I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
It seems that you enjoyed having the time with him....while I know breaking up hurts, that just means there is another around the corner.....that means new excitement, new fun and new feelings to discover....enjoy. "It's true/the way I feel |
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lil_pwheeler Junior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 39here |
Glad you got your chance. For not many do. No one dies a virgin, life screws us all |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
OK, the way it read looked like he broke up with a note. Then again, I could be insane and reading it all wrong. Anyway, if he did, he's pathetic and weak!! DIE! It's always sad when breakups come....unless you don't like the person...but anyway, hope your alright and all. Thanks for sharing. ~AF~ "Who needs enemies, |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
"At least I got the chane I wanted, I just wish It could have lasted." i cant do the correct quote thing, but thatll work wont it? well as said Im glad you got yer chance. I wish id have got mine...the begining was sweet "Its a great day tobe alive, I know the suns still shinin when I close my eyes!" |
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