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Teen Poetry #5

Stars

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

0 posted 2001-09-02 11:45 PM

Here I am sitting under a tree,
Looking up at the stars,
whishing I were with them,
instead of on this earth,
no one could hurt me,
or even know me,
but I'm only wishing.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

1 posted 2001-09-03 02:14 AM

Jess, 1st off, I wanna remind you- There is a limit of only 3 posts per day.

2ndly- I think the poem could most definetly be extended. Though the idea behind it was a good one. I get what you are saying, and I thinkyou could jam pack this with tons of emotion and power and feeling. Hope all is okay with you... Wouldn't we all love to live in the stars away from everyone and everything. I sure would. But ya, just wishes. Thanks for the read. I enjoyed it.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-09-03 03:27 AM

I thought this was ok. It wasn't the best, but it was still fine.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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