Natalia's burden (tentative title)

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Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-09-02 04:19 PM

In the darkness
Of the final death
Of a dying fawn

In the darkness
Of death flowing forth
From my hands killing all I touch

Death from a small touch
Killing the world around me
What have I ended, what have I destroyed

At times I do wonder
Why killing is the only way for me
Why I have to crush all I hold dear

I wonder this and weep
For I know I lost part of myself
When I said this or did that and lost you

a wiseman once said "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!
i girl who thinks shes wise said " ben is a dorko" i agree

[This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 09-02-2001).]

never_a_princess
Member

since 2001-06-09

Posts 82
Show Me the Money

1 posted 2001-09-02 04:35 PM

*HmMmZiEs* I like it, Mr. bennerz. *nods* It's sweet. It's saddish but sweet because of the meaning behind it. "What have I ended, what have I destroyed?" I liked that part. *hugz you* good poem, buddy. Keep writing, silly...You hadn't written in forever! :P
__o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves*

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2001-09-02 04:42 PM

wow, this is really sad.....it's painful, but wow, you wrote these feelings well, hope all is ok

"Deputy Moderator ~ Open Forum"

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-09-02 05:38 PM

Nice write...I get what you're saying, and man I feel this too- all the time. Hope to see another post from you very soon. I enjoyed this bunches. You expressed yourself greatly.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-09-04 02:22 AM

The title freaked me out seeing as how my GF is named Natalia....weird. Anyway I did like this one a lot. Very well written.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

5 posted 2001-09-04 02:26 AM

ooooooooooh dark. i liked this one lots. you wrote it very well. the title was a bit weird but i think if you delve into the poem it does seem to make sense. thanks for sharing Ben!

............Daffodils
........Daffodils .....
....Daffodils..........
Daffodils .............

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

6 posted 2001-09-04 02:35 AM

ok mr bennerz! why haven't you emailed me hmmmmmmm? ok well i'll forgive you this last time hehe! neways cooloz on the poem!btw i agree with your signature you are a dorko!!!!!hahahaha love ya hun!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision