Teen Poetry #5 |
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Natalia's burden (tentative title) |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
In the darkness Of the final death Of a dying fawn In the darkness Of death flowing forth From my hands killing all I touch Death from a small touch Killing the world around me What have I ended, what have I destroyed At times I do wonder Why killing is the only way for me Why I have to crush all I hold dear I wonder this and weep For I know I lost part of myself When I said this or did that and lost you a wiseman once said "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!! i girl who thinks shes wise said " ben is a dorko" i agree [This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 09-02-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
*HmMmZiEs* I like it, Mr. bennerz. *nods* It's sweet. It's saddish but sweet because of the meaning behind it. "What have I ended, what have I destroyed?" I liked that part. *hugz you* good poem, buddy. Keep writing, silly...You hadn't written in forever! :P __o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves* |
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow, this is really sad.....it's painful, but wow, you wrote these feelings well, hope all is ok ![]() "Deputy Moderator ~ Open Forum" |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Nice write...I get what you're saying, and man I feel this too- all the time. Hope to see another post from you very soon. I enjoyed this bunches. You expressed yourself greatly. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The title freaked me out seeing as how my GF is named Natalia....weird. Anyway I did like this one a lot. Very well written. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
ooooooooooh dark. i liked this one lots. you wrote it very well. the title was a bit weird but i think if you delve into the poem it does seem to make sense. thanks for sharing Ben! ............Daffodils |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
ok mr bennerz! why haven't you emailed me hmmmmmmm? ok well i'll forgive you this last time hehe! neways cooloz on the poem!btw i agree with your signature you are a dorko!!!!!hahahaha love ya hun! robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
wow ben, i liked this alot. *claps* great job on it. tiff ![]() Elevese con los angeles |
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marmaladeskies New Member
since 2003-01-17
Posts 2Missouri |
she's allowed to call you that? |
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Echo Junior Member
since 2003-02-20
Posts 14the abyss |
very beautiful. I loved the line: why i have to crush all i hold dear Thxthx! |
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