To be noticed....(double senryu)

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Open Poetry #14

To be noticed....(double senryu)

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

0 posted 2001-05-31 06:27 PM

To be different
is always essential
for being noticed

Cause in the big crowd
when so many are alike
you will not be seen

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 06-01-2001).]

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

1 posted 2001-05-31 06:31 PM

To be different
is always essential
to be noticed
~~~~~~~
May I suggest:

To be different
it is always essential
that you be noticed
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love how you think and write and I hope you are not upset with my suggestion

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

2 posted 2001-05-31 06:37 PM

Blooming beyond norm
your sweet verses do perform
flowers in each form

Lovely Senryu and pictures.

PM

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

3 posted 2001-05-31 06:38 PM

Dear Interloper, thank you for your suggestion, but if I was to change it the middleline is 8 instead of 7..(don't know the word), so that wouldn't be right for senryu.

I'm not upset, because writing in a foreign language is not always easy to do, so I will always learn. Thanks for reading.

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-05-31 06:57 PM

love these

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

5 posted 2001-05-31 07:30 PM

Thank you Poeminister again, for your lovely words.
And SEA, glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading

Titia

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2001-06-02 12:37 PM

Enjoyed these and the accompanying photos are grand compliments.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

7 posted 2001-06-02 12:40 PM

I've been trying for years to be different but I always wind up being the same! Wonderful poetry!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

8 posted 2001-06-02 12:48 PM

Titia,
Nice words enjoyed.

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