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Open Poetry #14
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Emptiness
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Emptiness |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Emptiness Created when Sharp shards of silence gouge deeper than cutting words shred hope. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
wonderful!!!!!!! very well written  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Did you have a quiet holiday, then? Well done! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
shredded hope mended in silent comtemplation fulfillling answers |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
The sounds of silence can sometimes be louder than a thousand horns blasting. Hope can be stirred from the knowledge that after every storm there is a rainbow, all you have to do is search with open eyes. I do like the poem, it's very deep yet with few words. Deb |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Sharply said, indeed. Nicely done. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Cpat--Emptiness explained perfectly! [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-05-2001).] |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
I'm amazed, Ron, at how well you can craft a very strong emotion and message with so few words!! Submit this one to Webster's! -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
So much said in a small space. Excelent poem!! |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
As much as I am craving silence at the moment...this isn't exactly the type. But I do know what you have described here well. Excellent! |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
emptiness echoes screaming your name in silence for no one to hear |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
What a great way to describe emptiness with a poetic flair that sends your message home! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Cpat- this is perfect! you've described it well hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Excellent, truly excellent! Amazingly said Maree "little miss understood |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
very well said Cpat jwesley |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Many many thanks to everyone... for taking the time to read and for saying such nice things... |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Well writen and very true. Keep up the good work. A small critique Cpat, I have added a few words which may help in your projected meaning. Hope you don't mind. Emptiness Created by sharp shards of silence which gouge deeper than the cutting words which shred hope. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks Rick... I do not mind at all.. This originally started, believe it or not, as a MUCH longer poem..andd in an effort to present true minimalistic form..I cut and cut..and cut until this was all that was left. One version I had actually was very close to what you added, and while it made the point easier to read and understand..I played with it further... I appreciate the critique... always lots to learn from how other read and percieve your words... Thanks!!! |
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