Open Poetry #14 |
The Changing of the Card |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The Changing of the Card Nodding my head, I listen across the counter to the catch in her voice. I don’t know what to say, she says, when I ask, my hand poised above the order form waiting to write her sigh. A middle aged man jingles his keys and walks nervously around the shop looking at the ground before he orders roses for someone, someone named Carol or Barbara. He was stopped cold when I ask, what would you like to say on the card. Oh, he was so in love that his cheeks pinked and eyes glowed. Sometimes a flower is used as a quick fix to get out of the doghouse back onto the couch with slippers and dinner tray. It’s true, flowers say a lot without a person even writing anything, but, there is nothing like words, just said out loud, written, shouted, words like, I love you, or just, love. Words like, I’m sorry. What about, you are more beautiful than this flower? For quite some time now I have had the urge to change just one word in a message. No, to be truthful, I’ve had the urge to change the whole message just to see if it would change a life, but, I haven’t. Not yet anyway. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-02-2001).] |
||
© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ SweetFlowerGirl ... there's always tomorrow ! This is just insightfully delightful ! Bouquets to ya', baby ! ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
I'm enjoying your "storyesque" writing style. Be careful about "altering a life" by changing that word though... -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
||
SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Oh those "what ifs" in life could kill ya! ~Krista |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
aw, Martie..the things I'm sure you have seen in your little shop.... if your customers knew how you can write, they would ALL have you writing out their cards..."a dozen roses, miss, and please tell her how much I care..." they wouldn't be sorry... |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes Martie, in part, I echo...if they only knew how you could write...and take what you've seen...you could change courses... if only.... hearts are speaking, tonight.... |
||
Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Makes you wonder what would happen if you did, doesn't it? Could it make a real difference in someone's life like by opening the lines of communication once again or would it be a disaster. One can never be sure. Great write here! All writing comes |
||
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Martie- hmmmmm...intriguing idea.. i'm liking this.. hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
||
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Martie, I understand what it is you're saying here. As for me, I'd choose to live my life and let others live their own. This is a good poem and I much enjoyed. Thank you, my friend. Michael Auguste~ |
||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi guys...this is just a thought...not something I would ever do. I thought it would make a great fiction story one day...Thanks for reading and for the great replies!! |
||
CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Hi Martie, my catchup reading would not be complete without finding a poem you have shared with us here... Sweetie, I really enjoyed this read and I thank you... Hugs2UalwaysPoetFriend *~coco~* |
||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely told..and a subject I had not thought of until now.......left me thinking..( which is a good thing although some would say a rare thing for me to do) I enjoyed!! |
||
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
martie - ya lil devil, you. Changing messages on cards crosses your mind, does it? I can see the card you'd change for me. My message: I've got your cat! boowaaaaaaa Your message: I love your kitty. Now, do you see how your well-intentioned editing could completely ruin my reputation? hmm? On a more serious note, I do love the way you described your store, and the way you read your customers and take the time to think about what they feel, and how much you care. This is a very sweet poem that places you ever more deeply in our hearts. |
||
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Isn't it interesting to watch life "happening?" |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I read your poem and the second I finished I thought what a great story that would make (the plot I mean), and sure enough there in the midst of the comments is the idea from your wonderful mind! Excellent idea, and I hope you don't just think it but do it, as to quote your own words, "but, there is nothing like words, just said out loud, written, shouted," and a book to remind people to say them! Well done, I really loved this one. If I made you smile today then I did my job! |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I agree with Bal... If your customers knew the magic of your pen and the greatness of your heart, they'd be begging you to give voice to the flowers they send. *S* It’s true, flowers say a lot without a person even writing anything, but, there is nothing like words, just said out loud, written, shouted, words like, I love you, or just, love. Words like, I’m sorry. I love the entire poem, Martie... but this section is so wise... and so often unheeded. Beautiful work, flower lady... and I'll be looking forward to that book you write! *S* |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Back in here to tell you that - As your agent ... We should market Martie Says cards for the floral shops ... What your heart is thinking .. Love n' hugs~ ~*Marge*~ |
||
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
What a fabulous idea, Marge! You should do that Martie, print up some cards with your words (some folks just don't know how to express in words what they are really feeling) that they could choose from and attach with the flowers! Beautiful poem! |
||
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
That is a great idea! |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |