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Open Poetry #14
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A Weak Moment
| Open Poetry #14 |
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A Weak Moment |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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Holding hands, a couple strolled, taking measured steps of love, As evening waves did a lazy roll and kissed their feet, By the shore, I sat like a rock, watching their shadows merge, With shimmering spots where the sun and sand often did meet. Then it was, when the moment stilled and the sounds silenced, As the sky crimsoned and the coast changed to twilight attire, By the shore, I sat like a rock, watching their shadows dance, Rejoicing the event of sunset in complete admire. Then it was, when the rock trembled and pushed me to my feet, As the breeze sang sad tunes of memoirs of my love's defeat. *!* "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sudhir, Very good write, enjoyed the read. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is a pleasure to read Sudhir...so rich and descriptive...James |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ In our weakest moments ... we are moved by something as lovely as this~ How very moving are your feelings. 'Then it was, when the moment stilled and the sounds silenced, As the sky crimsoned and the coast changed to twilight attire, By the shore, I sat like a rock, watching their shadows dance, Rejoicing the event of sunset in complete admire.' Thank you for sharing such breathtaking imagery. *Hugs*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Awakening to reality, you have painted colorful images for the mind Lovely work Liz |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
"As the breeze sang sad tunes of memoirs of my love's defeat. " Very nice, yet powerfully sad... empathy brought to life by memory... -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Vivid, captivating with a touch of melancholy at the end. Well done! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
What I admire about your writing Suddy is your explorations...all the different styles you write in... not everyone can do that you know...  KI am a refugee of logic...insisting |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahhh, my friend, nothing hurts worse than seeing love walk in anothers arms..very well done..gentle smile |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
you capture it very well, Sudhir...I know this feeling well.. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Love's defeat is tough, my friend. Never easy to accept, but perhaps a bigger brighter happiness awaits you. Warm regards.  All writing comes |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Seymour, thank you very much... glad that you enjoyed what you read James, it is my pleasure that you came by. Thank you Marge, I thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts, my friend. Hugs back to you. Thanks a lot... Liz, so glad that you could see them. Thanks a lot Mark, Thank you for your great assessment and for reading... VAS, thank you so much... much appreciated... Kamla, I am glad that I can make some impact by the ways I write and guess what I am always learning in each of my explorations. Thank you very much. Logan, thank you for the smiles... and of course for reading and responding O Sire Balladeer, it is most gratifying to see your name in this thread. Thank you Lone Wolf, my regards to you too, and many thanks for the positive note... Regards to all, Sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
very emotive. "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Such a beautifully written lover's lament! You pulled the mood right out of virtuality and made it real....good writing my friend!! take care! ethome |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sudhir--You have painted love and loss so well...hugs! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
outstanding as usual my friend There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This has such vivid imagery that I am there and feel the ache... Magnificent work, Sudhir!! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Brian, my friend, thank you very much... glad that you came by Ethome, you are so sincere in your adulation... thank you so much... Martie, hugs back to you, my friend... thanks a lot Jamie, generous as always, my friend... thank you Suthern, the magnificent speaks volumes of your appreciation... thanks for everything Regards to all, sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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