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Open Poetry #14
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Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-06-24 07:22 PM


Don't tell her you loved her,
And don't beg to drown in her deep brown eyes,
For you came to a place that quenches fire and thirst,
And even left with some of that sacred water.
The feast of plentiful passion went half unspent,
And yet there was still enough to go around afterwards.
Spoiled rotten fruit lies on dusty tables,
While you laugh.
Somewhere in the distance there is a cry you cannot hear.
And she hides
And she hides again.
For there never could be an outpouring of herself near enough to some bountiful happiness.
There never could be a true giving of herself,
Because she left some part of her long ago,
Amongst the rotting fruit and dusty table,
In another city, another town, and another smoke filled tavern of love.
So you say you love her,
But don't make your voice so full of promises.
The present will always be different from the past,
And your season of love or worship is over.
So what remains of this flaming entrapment of passions,
Since the fire's temperature is just a little colder?
The shedding of a shell of freedom has began,
And she draws her cloaks once again,
To hide the singed skin that reveals her heart.
The next one to journey there may meet with danger,
And cold unfeeling eyes may reach out of that deceptive light filled core,
And burn.
A lesson learned,
A heavier cloak this time.
Tears damned with stone,
And a heart that never hardens,
And must be salvaged at all costs.
*POOF*







© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
1 posted 2001-06-24 07:26 PM


Oh, this is extraordinary. Makes you take a deep breath.
Sandra

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

2 posted 2001-06-24 07:37 PM


The vast and enriched land of Love erodes from too much inconsiderate use. One invisions a middle east stoning where an illicit Love is punished with each hurled missle. Enjoyed this sad poem.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve"

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-06-24 10:33 PM


Temptress~
Deeply moving ...
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-06-24 10:37 PM


"And your season of love or worship is over.
So what remains of this flaming entrapment of passions,
Since the fire's temperature is just a little colder?
The shedding of a shell of freedom has began,
And she draws her cloaks once again,
To hide the singed skin that reveals her heart."

Extraordinary lines here, Temptress.  Wow.  This really makes you step back and look around, doesn't it?  Great write.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
5 posted 2001-06-24 11:19 PM


And a heart that never hardens,
And must be salvaged at all costs

Ahh yes, gentle one, definately to be salvaged at all costs. You skirt the dark side, Jenn, come back into the light...very gentle smile..but I loved the write

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
6 posted 2001-06-24 11:27 PM


Jennifer,

Compelling write, my friend.  So much said and yet I've a feeling there's so much more to say.  Much enjoyed!

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the human mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
7 posted 2001-06-24 11:31 PM


a painful, desolate poem with a straining to survive at the end...survive!
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2001-06-25 12:53 PM


Very well done Jenn.  Remember E.T.?
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
9 posted 2001-06-25 02:43 PM


What Balladeer said echoes my feelings exactly.

Good write, Jenn!

Corinne

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-06-25 06:56 PM


"I dare you". . .

that's what this says to me. . . what your voice says in this one. . . "find me". . . "if you can. . . "

excellent. . .keep reaching. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
11 posted 2001-06-25 07:09 PM


Salvaged But Cautious
I love the way u used cloak...
Very Good

           Thank You
         ~~~Connie~~~

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