An Innocent crime - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

0 posted 2001-06-19 10:09 AM

This ache
it screams and screams
it deafens me
questions my sanity
rolls back my eyes with every breath
this pain I’ll carry
to my death

with acid tongue and
selfish paces
this I throw
at smiling faces

an ultimatum
final injection
a do or die
sweet rejection

for the sake of love
and broken-time
tonight I bury
an innocent crime

Angel of Darkness
20/6/01

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 06-19-2001).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-06-19 10:13 AM

You've succeeded at being very dark.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-06-19 10:13 AM

tonight I bury an innocent crime...

the hardest part of some anger is having no one to direct it toward--just don't let it go inward and take anchor...

This is so very volatile--and I love it! (evil me....)

love my sista!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-06-19 12:23 PM

oooh this is intense...chilling and haunting
love the stark, vividness of the imagery and the express of emotion.
well done DA, good to read you again

jm

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

4 posted 2001-06-19 12:25 PM

remarkable write...

Maree,
My regards,
sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

5 posted 2001-06-19 01:28 PM

I hope that some peace comes with the burial of this innocent crime. VEry powerful words. excellent stuff, take care.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Alicethruglass
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 368

6 posted 2001-06-19 02:16 PM

for the sake of love....I bury an innocent crime

I enjoyed your words

~A~

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

7 posted 2001-06-19 03:53 PM

I echo what serenity just said. I wish you peace.

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the human mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

8 posted 2001-06-19 04:42 PM

You always carry tremendous power with such sweet elegance in your poetry. This piece is no exception. It has it's own way of screaming - but it screams beautifully.
Michael

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2001-06-19 06:26 PM

there's a depth here that just hides beneath the surface. . .

wonderful. . .

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

10 posted 2001-06-19 07:00 PM

I read this slowly...and every verse tell its own separate story dear...it's very sad. Angry-sad.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way...god, I really am.

~K puts comforting arms around M~

I love you my sweet soul sister.

Tigger, K.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

11 posted 2001-06-19 10:32 PM

I hope you find your way through the pain so you can again smile. Very well said ...

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

12 posted 2001-06-19 10:46 PM

Strongly written hon,,, ( even if it does rhymne..lol)

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

13 posted 2001-06-19 10:49 PM

was this the humor poem yuh had to write? hehe only kidding o yuh I liked this alot yuh

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

14 posted 2001-06-19 10:53 PM

Maree-
  WOW!!  this is some
  powerful writing!!!
  intense and very dark...
  i like this alot!

  thanks for sharing it,
  and i hope things look
  brighter soon..

hugs,
~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

15 posted 2001-06-19 11:10 PM

very intense, Maree, and to make it rhyme so perfectly and not lose its message makes it much more powerful...well done.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

16 posted 2001-06-20 09:59 AM

And this.. this could be taken on so many levels and mean so many things..

May the crime buried stay so..and peace find its way into the void left... by all the aching

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

17 posted 2001-06-20 10:00 AM

I can only echo the very well done...

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

18 posted 2001-06-20 11:11 AM

Quite powerful, yet somehow attempting to forgive...impressive!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

19 posted 2001-06-20 11:14 AM

               "with acid tongue and
                 selfish paces
                 this I throw
                 at smiling faces

                 an ultimatum
                 final injection
                 a do or die
                 sweet rejection

                 for the sake of love
                 and broken-time
                 tonight I bury
                 an innocent crime"

I love the phrasing of these lines...they have a wonderful voice!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

20 posted 2001-06-20 05:56 PM

Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and for taking the time to stop and read. I really do appreciate it so

Hugs all

Maree

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

21 posted 2001-06-29 12:48 PM

Quite intense indeed.....very good!!!

Bridgette

Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

22 posted 2001-06-29 11:18 PM

Oh Maree--this hurts to read...so very well done, this sadness. Hugs!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.