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Open Poetry #14
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Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

0 posted 2001-05-22 01:46 PM




morning stands quietly
radiant reflections please
the sky is happy

"I am not now that which I have been."

© Copyright 2001 Mabel A. Dilley - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
1 posted 2001-05-22 01:55 PM


Very good Haiku.  Might want to shorten first line a tad.  More!

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.

[This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 05-22-2001).]

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
2 posted 2001-05-22 02:22 PM


Yes indeed, suggestion: remove the 'ly' from quietly, then it would be correct.

Like it though, nice picture too

Titia

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
3 posted 2001-05-22 02:47 PM


Darn!! And I thought I had counted better than that. Thanks for catching that.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-05-22 03:54 PM


Well, I for one believe the sky does have emotion, it certainly seems angry during a thunderstorm!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
5 posted 2001-05-23 03:36 PM


Wow, this is so beautiful....great work!!

Nathan

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-05-23 08:20 PM


that's why I count the syllables. . . lol. . . it's the only way that I can be sure that I don't miss one. . .  

great job Julian. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-05-21 01:44 PM


gorgeous!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2005-11-17 02:19 PM


Mabel~

Wishing for return
Of poetic lines of you
Come on, make my day~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email -   noles1@totcon.com   

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