Now I Ask.........................[quatrain, exercise]

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-06-14 07:42 PM

Now I Ask

harbored thoughts of youth long reprieved

seek here my countenance ‘tis not grieved

should thy plead by grace with ease

I would then do for your soul to please

This was an exercise. Please, feel free to critique!

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-06-14 07:50 PM

YOU KNOW I LOVE THIS............right?

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2001-06-14 07:53 PM

LOL...that's not a critique! That's a compliment!

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

3 posted 2001-06-14 07:57 PM

so you wanna critique? I thought it was..............(and then he died)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2001-06-14 07:58 PM

WOW....get your sorry self back in here and say WHAT?! LOL....

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-06-14 08:02 PM

a critique???????? yeah.....that's what I gave you....so picky.......ok...ok....

I REALLY love this!!..........better?!

Eye
Junior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 28
Outside Looking In

6 posted 2001-06-14 08:04 PM

And a well wrought exercise indeed.

Giving and self-recogntition
all too rare in this reality

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

7 posted 2001-06-14 08:05 PM

comes back from dead and says (ack) I loved it as an exercise (dies again)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2001-06-14 08:12 PM

SEA!...ROTF...

Eye...thank you so VERY much...

WOW...come back, come back!

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

9 posted 2001-06-14 08:44 PM

You want a critique out of me
Well, I have to admit you see
I don't know what a quatrain is
But for these lines a smacky kiss

(don't know if 'smacky' is a real word, if not I just invented it) LOL

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. [URL=http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100
]htt

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2001-06-14 09:19 PM

Titia...big smiles....in the States, and I think around WWII, there was a "SWAK" notation on the outside of envelopes...

"sealed with a kiss..."

I will take that...and YOURS....in friendship and fun...

Sun....

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

11 posted 2001-06-14 09:23 PM

this is well written, but I'm not sure about the syllable count. . . hmmmmmmmmmm. . .

how's that for a critique??

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2001-06-14 09:35 PM

AACCKK....no one mentioned syllables....

ARGH....

rewrite [coming soon to a Forum near you!]

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.