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Open Poetry #14
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Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas

0 posted 2001-06-13 10:00 PM



Lonely on the battlefield, carnage all around,
war banners and staffs drooping to the ground.
A lone figure reeled, amidst the unseeing eyes,
staring with wonder, and thankful at being alive.
Battered and bloody, with sword hacked and dull,
Was the battle really over, or was this only a lull?

Anxiously he looked, at all that had died,
  "Here I am, my lord, where are you?" he cried.
A rush of wings caused him to look up and see,
a lone white dove flying over the trees.
"Here I am, true knight, if you will only hear me.
you stayed and fought when it easier to flee.

Standing over and protecting, after I was struck down,
Never leaving, never giving ground.
You lived your honor as only you can see,
now I've come back, gathering  you to me,
Your strong arm is done, loyalty has its rewards,
you can lay your arms down, and accept my award.

"But my lord, how can I protect you, if lay my arms down?
"There's need no longer, my brave one.  Throw them to the ground.
Do you not see? The battle is all over, leaving just you and me.
The bewildered knight looked down and surely he did see,
his crumpled body laying, there was no victory.

Then he felt the wind, whistling by his wings, his companion the dove,
they had their victory.

[This message has been edited by Logan (edited 06-14-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Logan - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2001-06-14 02:01 AM


Logan~
You bring me to tears with this gently written piece of honor.

'Standing over and protecting, after I was struck down,
Never leaving, never giving ground.
You lived your honor as only you can see,
now I've come back, gathering  you to me,
Your strong arm is done, loyalty has its rewards,
you can lay your arms down, and accept my award.'


Thank you.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
2 posted 2001-06-14 02:09 AM


Logan...you have to know how this touches me....beautiful
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-06-14 02:18 AM


this is perfect...and so loving....wow.....
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2001-06-14 02:46 AM


Logan,
I loved this. I've read it twice, and it seems each time I come out of it with something new. Could I be wrong? I think a few lessons could be learned from this either simultanseously or one by one. *sigh* Sorry..I ramble. I enjoyed this, and I see the Knight's story well.  

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-06-14 05:09 AM


I loved the story, but more importantly I loved the message and insight in this poem, and have kept it to read over again, thank you for a wonderful write Logan.

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them as tomorrow may never come ~*~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2001-06-15 03:12 PM


Logan, this made me feel the honor and the ending was so sadly touching. You write so beautifully.
Sandra

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-06-15 03:14 PM


Then he felt the wind....

wonderful!

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-06-16 11:09 AM


now this is a great story Logan, but then again, I've always been a sucker for Knights and such. . .

I like that it rhymes, but it's a little hard in some places, I feel that you want it to flow like the dove that you use in the piece, which is a great idea. . .

There's a lesson here my friend, and you've shown it very well. . .  

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
9 posted 2001-06-16 12:33 PM


Enjoyed this so much, Logan, excellent story telling!

*smiles*
~Tier

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
10 posted 2001-06-16 01:03 PM


Ahh, Marge, your comments are always so looked for and your tenderness always is felt so deeply..thank you..gentle smile

Paula, gentle smile, I am glad you enjoyed this, hopefully, half as much as I always enjoy your posts.

SEA, you are always so soul lifting, just by coming through. Your works are so good, that any reply from you is appreciated...gentle smile

Temptress, gentle one, do we not always get something different out of anything we read twice? Your perception of reading between lines is always so good anyway, just like your postings...gentle smile

Mysteria, my friend, you always humble me with your kind replies and gracefulness. Thank you once again...gentle smile

Oh Sandra, you do me too much honor, as I have read yours many times before. So I greatly appreciate your kindnesss and gentleness...gentle smile


Sunshine, you always being a smile to my face when you are here, first by your presence, and second by your kind  words. Thank you, Karilea...gentle smile

Ahh, Sven, my thanks and especially for the comments, as yes, I felt some were forced, but I am trying to learn, and any suggestions from you, my friend, are so greatly appreciated...gentle smile

Tier, gentle smile, thank you for reading and your comments. Your presence always lights up a post room...

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