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Open Poetry #14
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wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2001-06-13 12:41 PM



Why would you leave me here?
With such a sense for loss
On the waking windswept waves
Of thoughts I once had tossed

Drowning seems so frightful
And then almost surreal
Freestyle through the jagged chops
Of waves I long to feel

Dizzy from the whirlpool waves
I’m washed upon the shore
Of love you’ve always shone for me
And will forever more

I drip you from my hand
And taste you on my lips
Salty from the waking waves
And my eyes still in your grip

You’re the way a boy will dream
To grow and be a man
Covered up in consciousness
Gripped in mortal hand

You’re the way I loathe to die
With such a sense for loss
I heard you say you love me so
Then I sank into the moss

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 06-13-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-06-13 01:17 AM


'I drip you from my hand
And taste you on my lips
Salty from the waking waves
And my eyes still in your grip'

That is one exquisite verse...and the rest is well-written also...

wow Walty...love it!

K

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
2 posted 2001-06-13 02:19 AM


So sad darlin....so lovely.....
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2001-06-13 07:26 AM


"I drip you from my hand
And taste you on my lips
Salty from the waking waves
And my eyes still in your grip"

"You’re the way a boy will dream
To grow and be a man
Covered up in consciousness
Gripped in mortal hand"

This is excellent Walt ... wonderful imagery wrapped in the beauty of this piece, I really enjoyed this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2001-06-13 07:39 AM


This is absolutely excellent Walty, a very well written poem and this verse....

I drip you from my hand
And taste you on my lips
Salty from the waking waves
And my eyes still in your grip

Exquisite!!  

into my library it goes  

Maree

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2001-06-13 07:40 AM


ooops doing the library thingy
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2001-06-13 07:08 PM


This beautiful work needs to be seen. Bumping it up  

Still love it Walty  

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
7 posted 2001-06-14 08:56 AM


Walt have to give you 2 thumbs up for this one it is very good    
cruz
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282
Dallas,Texas USA
8 posted 2001-06-14 04:43 PM


...more gigantic than a 10 foot wave!  you paint a pretty picture!
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