.....................................Crime of Mind

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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-06-12 09:46 PM

                                              Crime of Mind

                            hazed and harried, time leaves one
                                   crazed, as if by stroke of sun,
                                       muddled in a mire of bright,
                                   befuddled in the dark of night

                             reason plays her mind, in, then out,
                                 seasons fly at her then come about
                              harass me not, she thinks, chagrined
                                  en masse, she reflects, then, on him

                              calm comes soon to her heart entire
                               balm then soothes the thunder’s ire

                                                      ~*~

[this was a challenge, but I do not think I met the test]

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 06-13-2001).]

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

1 posted 2001-06-12 10:02 PM

K~
Truly wonderful poetry, my friend! I really liked this
"calm comes soon to her heart entire
balm then soothes the thunder’s ire"

Incredible work, I'm glad I stopped to read!

~One of those other K's~

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2001-06-13 12:04 PM

Hm must be the day I am having but those two lines were my favorite too, great job on this one as usual, getting to expect this now!

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them as tomorrow may never come ~*~

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2001-06-13 12:50 PM

we all need that balm at times....nicely penned, Sunshine.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 2001-06-13 12:50 PM

we all need that balm at times....nicely penned, Sunshine.

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

5 posted 2001-06-13 01:00 AM

I like the way this rhymes on each end of each line...it works very well.
Nicely done...

Poeminister

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

6 posted 2001-06-13 02:08 AM

Sweet one bright sister of mine

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

7 posted 2001-06-13 07:27 AM

me too that loves these last lines as they are quoted by the others too.

excellent as always.

Charisma

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2001-06-13 08:27 AM

Not sure what scale you are being graded on...but it passes my enjoyment test...

BrightStar
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 219

9 posted 2001-06-14 12:43 PM

It's a crime I can't write verse like that. Beautiful.

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