Open Poetry #14 |
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Raelene |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
The sun is gone from my life today The days are gray and dark You quietly went away from me And with you took my heart. There is so much I want to tell you All the things I did not say. Of love and pride, hopes and dreams Before you slipped away. Bright colored leaves were dancing Against October's bright blue skies Making it such a special day When you came into our lives. I played with you and sang to you Songs my mother sang to me. I read fairy tales and nursery rhymes While I held you on my knees. The years went by too quickly With school and friends and such. Concerts, plays, clubs and groups All knew your magic touch. You were a wife and mother With a daughter all your own. You laughed and sang and played with her 'til she was fully grown. You knew the pride and hopes and dreams That lives within a Mother's heart. I didn't have to tell you mine. They were echoed in YOUR heart. |
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© Copyright 2001 Noreen Harlow - All Rights Reserved | |||
snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Great emotional write, autumn...wonderful first post...Welcome to Passions! sp ![]() I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! This was a wonderful read, and we look forward to much more! Please, check your e-mail for a special message! Karilea |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Beautifully written Autumn. Such tender caring that can only come from a mother. Welcome to Passions! All writing comes |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to our family. This is so beautifully sad. If this is your daughter, I'm so sorry for your loss. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Welcome to Poetry Land!! So nice to have you here with us... this is a lovely and touching tribute. Hope to read more from you. take care jm she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Welcome...this is very touching...and emotive... glad to have you here... ![]() |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Quite an emotional write...intense debut. Welcome! |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
tugs at heartstring and comforts at the same time.... enjoyed the read! |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
Snowpants,Sunshine,Lone Wolf,Janet Marie, Severn, JLR, and Cpat Hair - My thanks to all of you for your warm welcome. I love visiting passions and reading all the wonderful poetry. This was my first poem since I was a child, more years than I care to think of ago. With your encouragement I am ready to try another. Poet de Vine - Yes this was my daughter. She was 41 when she died. She came to visit me a year ago this Mother's Day for the holiday and my graduation from college. She laid down on my couch to take a nap and never woke up again. Thank you for asking. |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Autumn~ How tenderly you caressed your memories of Raelene in this beautiful heartfelt piece. Great big *Hugs* of welcome to this circle of friends and poets ! *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
Marge. Thank you for your welcome and sweet words. |
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catalinamoon![]()
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi Autumn, my friend Marv said to look you up on here, and I am very touched by your poem. What a sad and terrible tragedy for you. I hope writing about it helped a little. Very nicely done emotional poem. Take care Sandra |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
Catalinamoon - Thank you for your kind words. Writing helps so very much. I really appreciate all the comments I have received and the warm welcome. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
An honest welcome, Autumn. The first time I read this, I enjoyed the imagery and started to feel a certain sense of "oh oh...". After learning that this was a personal tradgedy, I re-read it and got chills, wanting to take a moment and express to you my sincerest condolances while at the same time encouraging you to continue what you have begun here: express and share. In so doing, perhaps your catharsis will help you as much as the well-meaning replies to your post... -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
*sniffles* this is a great start, and I hope to see some more... ![]() ![]() *+*Would you be known by everybody? Then you know nobody.~ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Welcome to Passions.....how very sad, what a wonderful tribute to your daughter! "This rose has seen red, I have been blue |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
MVS and FoxXena Thank you for responding to Raelene. I recently posted a fun poem called "My Squirrel". I have a couple of other ideas runnig around in my mind but am not sure how to write them. I really think the first line is the hardest. I am open to ideas and would appreciate any help. |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
Trish Rose Thank you for your welcome. I never expected to receive so many responses and suvh a warm welcome from everyone. Ypu hjave all made me feel at home. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
autumn- oh my...this is so beautiful and filled with loving memories of Raelene... ![]() thanks so much for sharing this with us. welcome to our 'family of friends'.. ![]() i look forward to reading lots more from you.. ![]() hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
MVS Correction!!!! It is The Squirrel Not My Squirrel. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Like your poem very much Autumn. You will feel at home here at Passions, I'm sure. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Autumn, I guess it comes down to a few things regarding that "dreaded" first line of any creative endeavor, especially poetry: decide on the technical format to give you a framework... (e.g.: do I want this to rhyme? Do I want this to free-flow? Do I want this to use certain imagery?). I find what helps me personally is to zero in on a metaphor through which I can express my inspiration/message/feelings... Pick an object, perhaps... let's say "trees"... and then literally run with it as it applies to your original thought of "The Squirrel"... Find as many ways as you can to use such imagery to express everything you can about that squirrel (branches, leaves, nuts, shadows, shade, caterpillars, birds, roots, etc... Then, maybe, consider the point of view: omniscient 3rd tense (that squirrel)? 1st person (I scramble up my tree...)? 2nd person (Why do you bark at my passing?), etc. Above all START and be honest... I have complete faith, based on this last poem of yours I've read, that you are a natural... just give yourself a chance, for we ALL are our own worst critics... Hope this helps... -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
MVS - Thank you so much for your suggestions. They have really given me some good ideas. I am very grateful for the help. |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
Titia - I am glad that you liked my poem. I feel very much at home at Passions. The response has been just fabulous and so positive. |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
What a beautiful, loving tribute!! It's a pleasure to welcome you to passions, even as I offer my condolences. I look forward to reading more from you. * S* |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
Suthern - Thankyou for your welcome. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem about Raelene. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
This is so difficult to respond to as I don't know how anyone endures the loss of a child, yet so many must. I can't bear the thought of losing my daughter, yet I don't want to miss any of her life, something that's not possible to have both ways. Welcome to PIP, an amazingly heartfelt first post. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Welcome to Passions! What a beautiful piece of poetic class! |
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autumn Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44Maine |
VAS and ethome - Thank you for your sentiments. It is hard to lose your daughter but I am so glad that we remained close and friends after she reached adulthood. I have so many special memories of her and the joy we shared together. I know she is with her Heavenly Father and his angels. I am grateful she was with me when she died and that she passed with out any pain. Her heart just stopped the same way that my father's did. I am told that it is a geenetic condition. |
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