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Open Poetry #14
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autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine

0 posted 2001-06-12 09:41 PM



The sun is gone from my life today
The days are gray and dark
You quietly went away from me
And with you took my heart.

There is so much I want to tell you
All the things I did not say.
Of love and pride, hopes and dreams
Before you slipped away.

Bright colored leaves were dancing
Against October's bright blue skies
Making it such a special day
When you came into our lives.

I played with you and sang to you
Songs my mother sang to me.
I read fairy tales and nursery rhymes
While I held you on my knees.

The years went by too quickly
With school and friends and such.
Concerts, plays, clubs and groups
All knew your magic touch.

You were a wife and mother
With a daughter all your own.
You laughed and sang and played with her
'til she was fully grown.

You knew the pride and hopes and dreams
That lives within a Mother's heart.
I didn't have to tell you mine.
They were echoed in YOUR heart.

© Copyright 2001 Noreen Harlow - All Rights Reserved
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
1 posted 2001-06-12 09:48 PM


Great emotional write, autumn...wonderful first post...Welcome to Passions!

sp  

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-06-12 09:48 PM


Welcome to Passions!  This was a wonderful read, and we look forward to much more!  Please, check your e-mail for a special message!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-06-12 09:54 PM


Beautifully written Autumn.  Such tender caring that can only come from a mother.  

Welcome to Passions!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2001-06-12 11:14 PM


Welcome to our family. This is so beautifully sad. If this is your daughter, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-06-12 11:57 PM


Welcome to Poetry Land!!
So nice to have you here with us...
this is a lovely and touching tribute.
Hope to read more from you.
take care
jm

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

6 posted 2001-06-13 01:23 AM


Welcome...this is very touching...and emotive...

glad to have you here...

K

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

7 posted 2001-06-13 01:42 AM


Quite an emotional write...intense debut.  Welcome!
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2001-06-13 08:32 AM


tugs at heartstring and comforts at the same time.... enjoyed the read!

autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
9 posted 2001-06-13 01:48 PM


Snowpants,Sunshine,Lone Wolf,Janet Marie, Severn, JLR, and Cpat Hair - My thanks to all of you for your warm welcome. I love visiting passions and reading all the wonderful poetry. This was my first poem since I was a child, more years than I care to think of ago. With your encouragement I am ready to try another.

Poet de Vine - Yes this was my daughter. She was 41 when she died. She came to visit me a year ago this Mother's Day for the holiday and my graduation from college. She laid down on my couch to take a nap and never woke up again. Thank you for asking.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2001-06-14 01:43 AM


Autumn~
How tenderly you caressed your memories of Raelene
in this beautiful heartfelt piece.
Great big *Hugs* of welcome to this circle of friends and poets !
*HUGS*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
11 posted 2001-06-14 01:40 PM


Marge. Thank you for your welcome and sweet words.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
12 posted 2001-06-21 08:06 PM


Hi Autumn, my friend Marv said to look you up on here, and I am very touched by your poem. What a sad and terrible tragedy for you. I hope writing about it helped a little. Very nicely done emotional poem.
Take care
Sandra

autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
13 posted 2001-06-22 07:41 AM


Catalinamoon - Thank you for your kind words. Writing helps so very much. I really appreciate all the comments I have received and the warm welcome.
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
14 posted 2001-06-22 04:09 PM


An honest welcome, Autumn.  The first time I read this, I enjoyed the imagery and started to feel a certain sense of "oh oh...".  After learning that this was a personal tradgedy, I re-read it and got chills, wanting to take a moment and express to you my sincerest condolances while at the same time encouraging you to continue what you have begun here:  express and share.  In so doing, perhaps your catharsis will help you as much as the well-meaning replies to your post...

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

FoxXena
Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted
15 posted 2001-06-22 05:26 PM


*sniffles* this is a great start, and I hope to see some more... . Welcome to Passions.  

*+*Would you be known by everybody? Then you know nobody.~
-Publilus Syrus*+*

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

16 posted 2001-06-22 06:46 PM


Welcome to Passions.....how very sad, what a wonderful tribute to your daughter!

"This rose has seen red, I have been blue
I'm going to Ireland in 2002!" Kathleen.

autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
17 posted 2001-06-22 06:53 PM


MVS and FoxXena Thank you for responding to Raelene. I recently posted a fun poem called "My Squirrel". I have a couple of other ideas runnig around in my mind but am not sure how to write them. I really think the first line is the hardest. I am open to ideas and would appreciate any help.
autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
18 posted 2001-06-22 06:55 PM


Trish Rose Thank you for your welcome. I never expected to receive so many responses and suvh a warm welcome from everyone. Ypu hjave all made me feel at home.
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
19 posted 2001-06-22 06:57 PM


autumn-
   oh my...this is so beautiful
   and filled with loving memories
   of Raelene...
   thanks so much for sharing this with us.

   welcome to our 'family of friends'..
   i look forward to reading lots
   more from you..

   hugs,
   ~vicky
  

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
20 posted 2001-06-22 07:01 PM


MVS Correction!!!! It is The Squirrel Not My Squirrel.
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
21 posted 2001-06-22 07:03 PM


Like your poem very much Autumn.
You will feel at home here at Passions, I'm sure.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace&naventryid=100

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
22 posted 2001-06-22 07:17 PM


Autumn, I guess it comes down to a few things regarding that "dreaded" first line of any creative endeavor, especially poetry:  decide on the technical format to give you a framework... (e.g.: do I want this to rhyme? Do I want this to free-flow? Do I want this to use certain imagery?).  I find what helps me personally is to zero in on a metaphor through which I can express my inspiration/message/feelings...  Pick an object, perhaps...  let's say "trees"... and then literally run with it as it applies to your original thought of "The Squirrel"...  Find as many ways as you can to use such imagery to express everything you can about that squirrel (branches, leaves, nuts, shadows, shade, caterpillars, birds, roots, etc...  Then, maybe, consider the point of view:  omniscient 3rd tense (that squirrel)? 1st person (I scramble up my tree...)? 2nd person (Why do you bark at my passing?), etc.
Above all START and be honest...  I have complete faith, based on this last poem of yours I've read, that you are a natural...  just give yourself a chance, for we ALL are our own worst critics...  Hope this helps...

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
23 posted 2001-06-22 11:26 PM


MVS - Thank you so much for your suggestions. They have really given me some good ideas. I am very grateful for the help.
autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
24 posted 2001-06-22 11:29 PM


Titia - I am glad that you liked my poem. I feel very much at home at Passions. The response has been just fabulous and so positive.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
25 posted 2001-06-25 05:03 PM


What a beautiful, loving tribute!! It's a pleasure to welcome you to passions, even as I offer my condolences. I look forward to reading more from you. * S*
autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
26 posted 2001-06-28 09:40 AM


Suthern - Thankyou for your welcome. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem about Raelene.
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
27 posted 2001-06-28 11:01 AM


This is so difficult to respond to as I don't know how anyone endures the loss of a child, yet so many must.  I can't bear the thought of losing my daughter, yet I don't want to miss any of her life, something that's not possible to have both ways.

Welcome to PIP, an amazingly heartfelt first post.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
28 posted 2001-06-28 11:09 AM


Welcome to Passions!   What a beautiful piece of poetic class!
autumn
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 44
Maine
29 posted 2001-06-30 04:17 PM


VAS and ethome - Thank you for your sentiments. It is hard to lose your daughter but I am so glad that we remained close and friends after she reached adulthood. I have so many special memories of her and the joy we shared together. I know she is with her Heavenly Father and his angels. I am grateful she was with me when she died and that she passed with out any pain. Her heart just stopped the same way that my father's did. I am told that it is a geenetic condition.  
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