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Open Poetry #14
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Out of Line
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Out of Line |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Out of Line..........rewrite from #8 It’s been a long time, she said into the dull phone, the phone that had been waiting, waiting for just this call. Where are the dreams we had, she thinks. You were going to bring them to me. Remember how, when you left you turned against the sunset, I saw the tear. You with your bright star. I saw it first before you even knew its name, it was your future. Far, far it would take you and stake you, I could feel it when I fell and tried to keep from looking into you, down into the brown eyes of your growing. But I did fall and your arms measured me and I could see that I was not quite right. His voice sucks her into the wire across the lines that dissect the sky and makes lives accountable with it whispered answers. She can see him hunched into his shoulders delaying truth with pretty words, looking across the yard where a cat sits somnolent in the doorway and perfume invades the room seeping from the closet. He is saying good bye now, the shattering is too loud. She cups the receiver to keep it from finding her ear. The phone drops for a moment from the grasp of his shoulder, as he types answers that are important into the glass eye of his future. Good bye, she says into the dangle of line that lays broken and betrayed on the desktop. And all he can hear is a dial tone. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 06-12-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I remember this..... and am glad to see it yet again! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You with your bright star. I saw it first before you even knew its name, it was your future. Far, far it would take you and stake you, I could feel it when I fell and tried to keep from looking into you, down into the brown eyes of your growing. But I did fall and your arms measured me and I could see that I was not quite right. ===================================== youre amazing...do you know that.... well you are...trust me  |
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Secret Whisper Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298Through the Looking Glass |
How sad. Wonderful write. "We also know how cruel the truth often is, and we wonder whether delusion is not more consoling."- Henri Poincare (1854-1912) |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
His voice sucks her into the wire across the lines that dissect the sky and makes lives accountable with it whispered answers. She can see him hunched into his shoulders delaying truth with pretty words, looking across the yard where a cat sits somnolent in the doorway and perfume invades the room seeping from the closet. The scenes you paint with so much humanity and realism. I feel like a voyeur. WOw loved this Martie. "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Very sad yet heartfelt. You write it very well. Nice work. All writing comes |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are unrivaled in painting these scenes from life, Martie...so touching, as always. I could SEE everything. Perfection, lady! |
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