Love Someone ( Sven's first challenge answered as a poetic knight)

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ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2001-06-12 05:40 AM

                        She walked straight up and elite
                         but she masked a hidden grief.
                      She was moving fast, forcing her laugh,
                          too much smoke with her heat.
                           Like desire that's gone mad
                             her soul was never still
                           but my dry eyes she unclad
                         and kept my bent heart thrilled.

                         I knew she owed her life's cares
                           to a man that was married
                       but he kept her dreams so impaired
                          she'd smile a smile so weary
                       and she longed to speak with a voice
                       where she could show off her respect
                       but she never got to make the choice
                          and she suffered from neglect.

                     One night on my old house boat she said;
                          "I just want to love someone
                           I want to change my scene.
                           I just want to love someone
                          who'll give their heart to me.
                             I want to love someone
                          and love them day and night,
                             I need to love someone
                       cause my heart's not working right."

                     So I'd try to stroke her sore heart chords
                         and ease the pain she'd reaped
                      but she'd turn off as I was getting close
                            and stare away from me.
                      I could hear her heart when we'd begin
                       my slow hands would shake her voice
                     and I'd speak soft cares to give her room
                           but distance was her choice.

                    Then we met one night on the old house boat
                           her face was blank unsure.
                      So we sat on the deck and she let it out
                        like rain her heart thoughts poured
                      and the mind she spilled gave me a chill
                       and I could feel her childlike hopes.
                       She said she had a new dream to fill
                         but she looked so down and out.

                    So I asked her how her dream would happen
                       because I knew she'd come so clean.
                       So she said she left the empty mess
                            to take a chance on me.
                        She said she was tired and lonely
                         and she'd try her heart with me
                        and if we became like one and only
                           she'd bring new life to seed.
                       Well, she looked so pure and simple
                           that I took her in my arms
                        and in my ear she whispered gentle
                        with a voice so damned disarmed.

                          "I just want to love someone
                           I want to change my scene.
                           I just want to love someone
                          who'll give their heart to me.
                             I want to love someone
                          and love them day and night,
                             I need to love someone
                       cause my heart's not working right."

                        That was the day she came to stay!

                                 © Eric True

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

[This message has been edited by ethome (edited 06-12-2001).]

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

1 posted 2001-06-12 06:18 AM

PT dear heart, I recall this one, at the time I loved it, now, it's even better. Oh you have a fabulous touch when you write dear heart. YOU,/b> never fail to produce something utterly outstanding. This flows so beautifully, and when dear heart are you going to sing me that song. Wonderfully written love, absolutely wonderful

Take care
love as ever
Mushy

Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

2 posted 2001-06-12 07:12 AM

oh my breathtaking.....this one is OUTSTANDING my dear friend......truly a treat.

Charisma

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

3 posted 2001-06-12 07:15 AM

Ethome
Superb, again, my friend
I didn't want this to end
Very captivating poem
Liz

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

4 posted 2001-06-12 07:20 AM

oh this is so tender and beautiful and i love your love poems

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2001-06-12 08:50 AM

This is indeed a love's song....

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

6 posted 2001-06-12 08:54 AM

Just wonderful my friend, and a unique way to get a room mate

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

7 posted 2001-06-12 09:04 AM

lovely song indeed and a story teller you seem to be.... enjoyed this one reatly and didn't want it to stop..which for me with my limited attention span..is saying a great deal..

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2001-06-12 11:34 AM

ethome--I agree with the captivating story..so well told...next chapter please!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

9 posted 2001-06-12 11:56 AM

                    So I asked her how her dream would happen
                       because I knew she'd come so clean.
                       So she said she left the empty mess
                            to take a chance on me.
                        She said she was tired and lonely
                         and she'd try her heart with me
                        and if we became like one and only
                           she'd bring new life to seed.
                       Well, she looked so pure and simple
                           that I took her in my arms
                        and in my ear she whispered gentle
                        with a voice so damned disarmed.

                          "I just want to love someone
                           I want to change my scene.
                           I just want to love someone
                          who'll give their heart to me.
                             I want to love someone
                          and love them day and night,
                             I need to love someone
                       cause my heart's not working right."

                        That was the day she came to stay!
=========================

this is classic Ethome...
romantic, longing filled, compassionate emotions all wrapped up in cadence and harmony...
Oh how I love when you write like this

excellent E-babes...

Secret Whisper
Member

since 2001-01-25

Posts 298
Through the Looking Glass

10 posted 2001-06-12 12:02 PM

I truly felt touched by this piece. I can relate to your 'girl'. Love is a hard thing to admit to. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

"We also know how cruel the truth often is, and we wonder whether delusion is not more consoling."- Henri Poincare (1854-1912)

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

11 posted 2001-06-12 12:29 PM

enjoyed the way you incorporated her song into this poem...thinks it a cool idea that everyone of us have our individual song to spread....

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

12 posted 2001-06-12 01:02 PM

I remember this one from last Summer, it touched me then, and still does my friend. . . truly one of your best. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

13 posted 2001-06-12 02:15 PM

ethome---Poignant story...and I love happy endings. Enjoyed!

[This message has been edited by JLR (edited 06-12-2001).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

14 posted 2001-06-12 02:29 PM

You make beautiful music my friend. How I would love to hear this one sung! Reading you is a guaranteed pleasure!

Gemini
Senior Member

since 1999-12-15

Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA

15 posted 2001-06-12 02:33 PM

And love with a happy ending, thank you for giving me a hopeful day. Very lovely.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

16 posted 2001-06-12 02:34 PM

This was absolutely stunning, ethome. Great work! Thanks for posting it again.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

17 posted 2001-06-12 02:52 PM

This is so beautiful babe....as always

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