Open Poetry #14 |
. . . On Patrol . . . |
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Senses alert Nerves raw with strain Mind racing ahead of feet Heel and toe Eyes in constant movement The human body a miracle of coordination Listening for alien sounds Looking for the “out of place” Feeling with booted sole the path How to learn all of this At only 18 years of age Better learn if you want to see the 19th [This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 05-22-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved | |||
joycerogers Member
since 2001-05-16
Posts 83Texas |
A different twist. I really like this. The essences of all that is important in life...starts with you. |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
i say, as would anyone else who's ever been on a foot patrol in hostile territory, Oh, so true.... and what a way to say it too... very good write -Napalm
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Excellent. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
I've been on patrol and yes, you've expressed it well. Thanks Michael Proust- |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
I have never been on patrol..but this sounds like what I have to do when I go to the mall on weekends. I liked your work...good job |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Sir, should "is" in the last line be "if"... and while you write this in the time of time not so distant.... it does not take much imagination to put this back one hundred years.... and be much the same as then, now.... well done Sir.... |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
joycerogers ~ Thanx for the read. NCC ~ Amen Bob ~ Thanks Auguste ~ Thanks Alan ~ Thanx Lady ~ Thanx for noting the typo. Sumpin' those guys missed Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
Well expressed Enjoyed the read. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
As a woman this is not something I ever had to experience...but I felt every word...every hesitant step... |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
another enjoyable one from you-yippee! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow.....this is really good my friend |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Sweat in the eyes, fear in the guts, scared to wipe as movement is too easily seen, hands tight, knuckles white, and a prayer, one more day...yes |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Julian ~ Thank you. Paula ~ Then I could ask no more. Watersign6 ~ Three cheers for your support SEA ~ I really appreciate you, friend. Logan ~ Ah, a comrade in arms. Yes, indeed. Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth |
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