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...Before
| Open Poetry #13 |
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...Before |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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...Before Indigo calls me into her deep. Her darkness reigns upon my sleep. Welcome thoughts, at last in sight, As dreams of loving come this night. I see you, feel you, spin me 'round In circles laughing, 'til on the ground, As the childish part of me, Absorbs all hurt to set me free. In whispers spoken from lips that touch, I cast away the past of much, As this should be the start, anew Reality of loving you. The passions rise, release in play. Come out, Come out, I beg to stay In visions hold, at least awhile. Wake me please, with lips that smile From kisses strong, and kisses weak From your caresses, hand to cheek. I long to feel it just once more Before, before, before, before... ~Wynter *sorry...couldn't sleep  should probably never write this early"The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
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| © Copyright 2001 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Well, I can't sleep either, been up most of the night, I really like your work on this one, Maureen, right down to the punctuation, and don't let anyone tell you it doesn't make a huge difference. It shows you care enough about your poem to use it! Kathleen Blake |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sheesh....too many of us were up this early this morn.... must have been something in the wind.... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
EXCELLENT first line-- quote: indigo... what a great word... great image FABULOUS last two lines-- quote: and everything in between was awesome in meter, tone, longing, emotion, and honesty.... a succinct writing well worthy of being a song of Love.... very nicely done, maureen  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Nakd, This one is a keeper, wonderful. *L* |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
What a lovely flow Maureen, beautiful cadence and rhyme, really enjoyed these sentiments!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Kathleen being a teacher...always a teacher..punctuation is important to me, besides I put those commas there to stress a place to rest or a beat of my rhythm. Thank you I really appreciate your noticing Sunshine You aren't kidding I am getting up earlier and earlier ...can't wait for that time change so I sleep in longer in the darkness..*s Doreen thank you, I am glad you noticed it was sort of a "love song" and my ending..well I just couldn't find the before to end with Seymour a keeper hmmm..it always seems like the ones that I wonder why I even wrote it are the keepers..maybe someone sees more inside of me than I recognize...~Sigh Kit thank you once again for responding so kindly..always a treat to see you here *s ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (edited 03-26-2001).] |
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