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Open Poetry #13
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Reparation... (A Villanelle)
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Reparation... (A Villanelle) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA 
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 REPARATION Youth emulates in kind what's seen and done, Yet virtue's gone astray from golden rule. We ought remand the spoils we've begun. Seems elder wanton ways confound our young, Imparting messages quite often dual. Youth emulates in kind what's seen and done. Parental models having their own fun The norm now thinking altered state is cool. We ought remand the spoils we've begun. Respect for morals pillaged one by one Once silver screen's turned violent and gruel. Youth emulates in kind what's seen and done. Skilled digitally our 'latch-key' kids with guns Found more and more now poorly aimed at school. We ought remand the spoils we've begun. Pawns in a deadly game that can't be won, In retrospect, no doubt we've been the fool. Youth emulates in kind what's seen and done; We ought remand the spoils we've begun. Waft every crest upon your destined sea Embrace the Wave of Serendipity Lest its elusive arcane ecstasy Refurl with sail for all eternity Nancy [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 04-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
this is a sad topic, but your villanelle is so well done. thank you. Joyce |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - yet again, you blow me away with your talent!~ Take care, Melissa~ |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ WOW ! What a powerfully written piece. Poignant message. You excel, teacher lady ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
awesome message you have here in style o course |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Great job Nan-- villanelles are very much underdone and under appreciated-- I love them. "Or, like the thief of fire from heaven, |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Thank you all for reading. I wrote this for our local "Peace" poetry contest... It seemed fitting... Joyce - My humble thanks..  Melissa - Glad you enjoyed reading Marge - Thankya...LOL... I've never won anything yet...  walt - Mucho Danke, my friend...  Jamie - You said it - I've gotta agree...  [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 04-04-2001).] |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
As I have said before Nan, you write on a different level than us mere mortals... and yes... we reap what we sow. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
truer words were never villanelled...nice work, tourist to be  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Ah - My Deer Mikes... I truly appreciate you both... Mike the first - We should all plant roses, don't ya think??... Deer - YEAH!!..  |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Nan, This is a great and wise message that unfortunately not everyone heeds..but lets look at the bright side and remember the ones out there who do take notice. I enjoyed this very much. You always amaze me with your soft wisdom and your beautiful way of working it into a masterpiece. still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A most excellent poem... Nancy, My regards, Sudhir |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Nan, Great theme - we need more like this for us all not just our youth. If you are following the villanelle form of Passerat, de Lisle, Thomas and Roethke, etc. I believe you need to reverse your last two lines. The first line in the first tercet of the villanelle should be the next to last line in the quatrain, and last line in the 1st tercet should be last line in the villanelle. And looking at this again, I believe this will give more strength to your ending, make it a more powerful end statement. With that exception and assuming this is the villanelle form you are using, I think this is a tremendous piece, done well. These, like the pantun, are not easy and are very easy to get confused in the procession of repetons. WTG, Panne |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You make this form look so easy with both wit, and wisdom, and I shake my head....in awe.... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Nan--The poem is excellent and the meaning full of wisdom and thought. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I agree with Martie - - but more over - I've been looking for further inspiration - and - while the subject - is well covered - and beautifully expressed - I believe you should garner all the credit for it - My inspiration will come on the form of trying a villanelle - again - on a different subject - and I only hope I can do 1/10 as well |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
Wonderful poem Nan with a message that sadly, is often to self incriminating to let past our ears. I espescially liked the stanza below: Youth emulates in kind what's seen and done.> |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This being a somber subject, writing this poem wasn't easy for me... I truly appreciate all of your responses... Jenn - Agreed... There are many still taking notice... and I'm grateful for that... Sudhir - It's so nice to see you about - thanks for enjoying...  Panne - ROTFL... Thankya... Chalk it up to brain spasms... Perhaps I can reinvent it and call it a "Villatoum." That's what I get for not checking it as I do every other time I write either a villanelle or a pantoum - Of course, I had to consult the Passions Poetry Workshop to compare notes with the teacher there and your critique. Um... It seems that I did, at least, teach it properly there... Phew!!... Thanks again... Sunshine - Shake a few rays this way, wouldya? Thanks... Martie - I appreciate your appreciation... for sure...  Wil - Ya Wil.... no doubt.. thankya... TLS - Hey there - nice to see you - and I'm so glad you enjoyed... |
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