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Heartstarter
Junior Member

since 2001-03-14

Posts 39

0 posted 2001-04-04 06:09 PM

The screaming glare of the neons
splattered on wet concrete
like bursting drops of iridescent rain,
spreading oily pools of rainbows
beneath the spiked heels
of the glittering ladies gathered
along the safety yellow curb;
soaked and shaking lollipop gals,
all looking for the great
and powerful Oz
through slick, dark windshields
sparkling like the Emerald city.

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

1 posted 2001-04-04 06:12 PM

I love any reference to wonderland ! Great piece!

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2001-04-04 06:18 PM

Hollywood and Vine?

Well done.

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

3 posted 2001-04-04 06:23 PM

quote:
soaked and shaking lollipop gals,
all looking for the great
and powerful Oz

EXCELLENT!!!! great imagery, succinct, perfectly constructed, and with the kind of social commentary which makes contemporary poetry so very special to me..... bravo!! i'll look forward to reading more

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

4 posted 2001-04-04 07:09 PM

Wow - clever and deep writing here, excellent use of a metaphor and imagery, you took a common subject and gave it flair~

Take care,
Melissa~

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-04-04 07:35 PM

Yes, I concur, excellent poetry here, looking for more soon!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-04-05 11:43 AM

add my concur to Doreen compliments...
this is a very cool poem...
unique and clever employ and manipulation of the imagery to define the intend and message.
well done

It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me
As if you know how it feels to never be who you wanted to be
~jackson browne~

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

7 posted 2001-04-09 07:41 AM

Liking this HS..

nice imagery...pleasure reading it

K

All obscurity starts with a danger:
Your dangers are many. I
Cannot look much but your form suffers
Some strange injury
Sylvia Plath

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)

8 posted 2001-04-15 03:55 PM

hmmm this is very clever i love it,you are so talented!!

sam

much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

9 posted 2001-04-15 06:33 PM

Brilliant writing...the safety yellow curb as the yellow brick road..every description precise and powerful...this is poetry.

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