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Open Poetry #13
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Shaving pain away
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Shaving pain away |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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the tomorrow has arrived again just like the day after the night and I check my 'fresh' look nothing seems different except that a stubborn stubble has grown I move my fingers to feel and the stubble stabs back with rough edges almost as if the hurt of yesterday has come out in the open and beckoning the edge of the razorblade to shave it off -- 'come and get me', it said in mocking insult! some things don’t change overnight! I wet the stubble with cold water and cover it with shaving foam as I try to hide it attempting to disguise the hurt with a mask and with vengeance use a razor with a fresh new blade that shone a beam of light from the overhead bulb and the beam reflected off the looking glass. a few slashes later the stubble was gone, yet, the hurt remained as if telling 'you got rid of me for now but by evening I'll be back' just as the night after the day. I will shave again tomorrow! '!' |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ah...the futility of it all...you speak to my heart again...(although, I swear I am NOT shaving!--well, not yet, anyway!)  I love the way you take a concept and just wrap around it, Sudhir...the details and allusions implied illustrate your point vividly! Loved this muchly! |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Wonderful analogy, Sudhir. Gives us something to ponder about life. Very original work, my friend. I enjoyed it. All writing comes |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
O Serene One, and I love your replies... thank you Lone Wolf... thanks for reading and for the wonderful compliments... Regards to all, Sudhir |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Sudhir......I enjoyed this, very much. I haven't shaved yet this morning and while exploring this fantastically drawn picture of words, I kept rubbing at the stubble on my chin. Great read! Thank you. Mike |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This, too, is the circle of life.... keep writing my friend! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Watching a man shave fascinates me... but you've added perspective I would never have considered. *S* Great work, Sudhir... I enjoyed it very much! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
So very well done. Yes, it WILL be there tomorrow and the day after. Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
every day is a blessing isn't it, Sudhir, thank you for this |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Mike, Thank YOU for coming by... Karilea, I try to understand this much so... thanks a lot, my friend... suthern, I am glad that you enjoyed this perspective... thanks interloper, thanks for the compliments... and for reading, of course... Kathleen, and I thank you for coming by... Regards to all, Sudhir. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Very nicely composed, Sudhir. Your critique tag says you encourage them, so I will gently ask that you check your tenses for continuity. Hope this helps. Take care, Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes Sudhir it seems to be exactly like this...James |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
You write movingly of pain that does not go away, and we all feel with you. And yet, might there not be another approach? For if you do not shave that stubble, but experience it, it will grow out and soften with time. Just a thought for you. May you win this battle. To love another person is to see the face of God. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ What a very, very intersting piece. I enjoy your perspectives on life. A little stubble-surfing is a good thing. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Wow, this is very creative! I enjoyed this a lot. Cool write Sauni Sauni :) |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sudhir, perfect picture here: ================================================================= the stubble stabs back with rough edges almost as if the hurt of yesterday has come out in the open and beckoning You know I love it when you write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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