Thirst - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Embers_Before_God
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 101
USA

0 posted 2001-04-03 06:16 PM

Dreams of starlit nights
soar through clouded memories,
quenching my mind's thirst.

Dance with me under the moon. Touch my pale skin. Devour me. Love me.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

1 posted 2001-04-03 06:31 PM

*sigh* .... as we say in the advertising business.... less is more.... and this proves it... succinct.... bleeding... and thirsty!!! i, too, long for those starlit skies.... i'd blow the clouds away for you if i could

enjoyed this much

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2001-04-03 06:58 PM

Wow! Doreen said it all...I too would love to have the clouds blown away to once again see the starlit night! Wonderful EBG.

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

3 posted 2001-04-03 07:09 PM

Only dreams could do this...Wonderful! Thanks for a great first read.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

4 posted 2001-04-03 07:18 PM

Well done, my friend!!

jwesley

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2001-04-03 11:04 PM

Enchanting write!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Embers_Before_God
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 101
USA

6 posted 2001-04-04 12:43 PM

Thanks to all who responded...I appreciate it...Embers

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

7 posted 2001-04-04 04:41 AM

This is really well done...

I wonder though - for a haiku, if it would look better without the punctuation?

I just think it's complete enough without it

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 04-04-2001).]

Embers_Before_God
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 101
USA

8 posted 2001-04-04 05:12 AM

thanks for your thoughts i will take everything you mentioned into consideration the next time i write something even though it is written as a haiku it isnt really meant to be it is simply thoughts that came out in the same manner though i do appreciate a good punctuation from time to time if i ever attempt a haiku i will thing about it before adding any thanks again

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.