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Open Poetry #13
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To be continued... (Part II)
| Open Poetry #13 |
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To be continued... (Part II) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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Sometime back, I had written a poem called 'To be continued' which all of you commented very fairly upon... I did not expect to continue that one... but here I am doing it... It's strange, life, things that you don't expect happen, and later on, one realises it has... anyway... instead of the blah-blah, here the Part II (I remember brian wanted a trilogy... and I don't expect that to happen... but, do we ever know???) I hope you like what you see -------------------- He places himself in a state of lean against a lamp-post, in the dark side street of his passing life -- drinking self-pity alone and lonely in goblets of tears! His stubborn sorrow continues to tear his time-frozen heart, apart, into shreds of memory cells; of water-colour painted sweet dreams washed away by the rain! He feels the need to dispel misery- affected wild thoughts, into the darkness of the ghastly night and wills himself to find crazy pastimes-- to quash loneliness. He can’t poke his nose, feels too old for that; so he chooses to bite his nails instead and after an hour he's back to the start, of the circle's bend treading a thin line! He needs to adjust speed with precision -- a race-track of life, very fast on the bends; not to go over, not to go into -- inside of which is dark and hollow! He needs to remain circling with time, keep on existing ever in motion, walk the thin tightrope forever moving -- in a search for hope and be continued... '!' |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This was so stark, and so vividly written--the intensity of emotion showed the light in the shadows here---I could see this guy, I could SMELL this guy--I tried to catch him when he lost his balance leaning against that POLE!!!! Fantastic Portraiture here, Sudhir! This read like a charcoal drawing.  |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
*Gasps for breath* I DO LOVE this, sir. It is beautifully done. The images and feelings are just wonderous and the whole thing captured me, I assure you.  still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
His stubborn sorrow continues to tear his time-frozen heart, apart, into shreds of memory cells; of water-colour painted sweet dreams washed away by the rain! He feels the need to dispel misery- affected wild thoughts, into the darkness of the ghastly night and wills himself to find crazy pastimes-- to quash loneliness. ======================= He needs to remain circling with time, keep on existing ever in motion, walk the thin tightrope forever moving -- in a search for hope and be continued... ====================== such depth of emote here Sud, yes ditto sens reply...the imagery and define of character is impressive... and yes....hope, like life is a continued road we must travel... i guess we must never give in...while never giving up... and then learn to never....say never. excellent writing take care poet sir jm It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Fantstic as usual Sudhir... "Or, like the thief of fire from heaven, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
drinking self-pity alone and lonely in goblets of tears! ---------------------- Are you sure that was a HE?? *S* For it sure does sound like me at times... not just nibbling at self-pity and loneliness but feasting on them. *S* This is excellent, Sudhir... it wrings emotions, makes us know this man... makes us care. Well done! |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
This was wonderful, Sudhir. I can almost see it happening before my eyes. Very well done!! All writing comes |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
O Serene One, Your comments have made me feel so special... thank you Temptress, I am glad that you liked this one... thanks for coming by O Janet, Thank you so much, my friend, for your kind words and for your caring ... Jamie, my friend, many thanks to you too... suthern, thank you so much for your great response... Lone Wolf, Thank you very much... Regards to all, Sudhir |
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