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Open Poetry #13
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rainbow.....(cinquain)
| Open Poetry #13 |
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rainbow.....(cinquain) |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA 
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rainbow spans calico sky over autumn's trees where golden drops caress sad leaves dying |
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| © Copyright 2001 Mike Powers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Oh dear, this is lovely. Quite evocative in just these few words ~ how admirable! You know, I don't believe I have ever written a cinquain. Reading yours nudges me just a wee bit closer to doing so, though I daresay I would be hard pressed to do as well. (o: Thanks for this! Had to edit back in to say I love your calico sky. Very expressive. Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau [This message has been edited by Meadowmuse (edited 04-01-2001).] |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
I love the feeling of this cinqain; however, I would have changed the wording a bit, and probably stuck with classic format. So automatically I rearranged it in my head. I do love the scope of autumn color blending into sky/earth. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Yes, the words are lovely, the image clear...doesn't quite fit the lesson on cinquain given me today from you and Panne, though. But, please, I'm not trying to be a difficult student, honest. Got a burr under my saddle about something else right now and I'm hoping it's not affecting my response. If it feels like it is, then let me beg your forgiveness right now. |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Meadowmuse...Thank you so much, after reading much of your great work I am quite positive you would have no problem with this style. It is a fun excercise that I believe, helps me to think in a more poetic manner. Julian...I am quite new to this style and would be interested in your further comments on "classic format". Basically, I just abide to the 2-4-6-8-2 rule. Glad you liked this one. Mike |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
VAS....the burr under your saddle is not felt here at all. What I referred to regarding "Geese" was the fact that it did not follow the "formal" 2-4-6-8-2 style or the "informal" style which "is based in words not syllables: Line 1 is one word; line 2 is 2 words; line 3 is 3 words; line 4 is 4 words and line 5 is one word." I too, am a student to this form and attempt to experiment within the guidelines given me. Your comments are much appreciated here, both positive AND negative. Mike |
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forevernbluejeans Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 76 |
This just left the loveliest image in my mind...rainbows and maples in the fall...wonderful Mike |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
forevernbluejeans...I was fortunate to grow up in a place rich with Autumn's colors. The maple trees were beautiful. Glad you enjoyed the poem. Mike |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike~ I thought this was beautiful...reminded me of being a child and loving Autumn.... all the colors.....that is still my favorite time of year.....  SEA |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
SEA and vandana...Glad you both enjoyed this one, thank you. Mike |
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