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Open Poetry #13
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And Then There Were None
| Open Poetry #13 |
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And Then There Were None |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
Who shared the momentary Nepenthe in blinding liquid fire water needfull as we cried the tears inspired by giving caring coloring the haze that painted its way through moments harsh disfigurement a hand to offer hold onto the pain is not only you just an offering of self and all one is not much simply all that one can give when the sky has fallen chicken little dead no barnyard creature left to hear gone or passed in death as hyeanas howl for too much blood even they overwhelmed in humanness slaughter for the hunts sake hunt the moment take away toss away look away words turned toys tumble in all another day cross the calendar cross the road of no return infinite emotional slaughter as you watch the red swirl round arms hands legs bound you thought again did you not believed familiar cant then midst the litany of swearing you saw the priest in feathers adorned obsidion in hand and you look disbelief family chosen trusted given believed you live past the cutting offering of your heart dazed in deaths confusion you see again and again he/she lift the black glowing blade in choice high somewhere just path death you begin to feel the pain your death mask a confusion of disbelief stunned as once again the blood tastes of you while life circles your soul in madcap dance beseeching you play the lottery of trust just one last time again "The most redeeming facet of life is that we have the comfort of knowing it will end. Death doth love equally." [This message has been edited by ATelamon (edited 05-18-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 ATelamon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It is most certainly NOT fair for you to leave people speechless.... I applaud you, nevertheless. It is the only sound I can make. |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
Thank you Sunshine Unfortunately I am a rare bird these days your deciphering of my various often convaluted offerings are of course highly appreciated but leaving you speechless is surely a self-defeating thing my greatest compliment is always when someone has written I have made them think I have to say in this case I would have chosen not to have experienced this shall we call it "Inspiration" which forms the multi-layered meanings of the many faceted lines contained within for I should certainly have added that apparently we humans simply will not tolerate, if for no other reason than boredom, simple choices the innumerable shades of gray which people so often refer to and even take refuge behind are still flanked on each side, artist's terms titanium white and midnight ebony I wish I had never been moved to write this I find no gray in my sadness that it even exists, then again perhaps I am dinosaur who uses India Ink, Black and White for its permanence. Again my thanks, I rarely, actually I NEVER explain a poem. Tis an Odd day indeed. BE Well AT "The most redeeming facet of life is that we have the comfort of knowing it will end. Death doth love equally." [This message has been edited by ATelamon (edited 05-18-2001).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Atelamon, what is most unique about your writing is, that it should always be read aloud. Which I do. And slowly. You frame each word in such a way as to have the reader carefully feel the intent of each word, all used sparingly, in detailed construction, and the craft of each word wends its way into one, two, or more meanings, as one takes the front of the sentence to mean one thing, and the back of the sentence to swiftly turn a 180...; you rarely use any punctuation, again leaving the gist of your gifts to the imagination of the reader/speaker. I do appreciate your "odd" day in that you left behind an explanation of "you"... that, too, is a gift. Thank you. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sigh. quote: How do we play that lottery of trust when we've never won before? Excellent poem! |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I have read this many times over, each time it is clearer in places, less distinct in others. It evolves with each read. I find the further I step back and simply read...the more black and white it becomes. However, a comment on your comment, there is much to be said for the gray. Be well. |
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