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Open Poetry #13
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Where Fields have been Planted
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Where Fields have been Planted |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
 Lonely for my father I walk where fields have been planted, remembering the plow turning the dark earth imagine livestock grazing in adjacent pasture an early sun slanting over the hills rolling under the earth at night. Since his heart gave out I think of him more often as if there were nourishment in death as if a process of endarkenment were healthy for the soul as if strolling these fields for forty days were time enough to mend fences walk an empty windowless barn a door at each end like a tunnel through which the slanted light shines. There’s no need to pursue perfection when it’s all around you in rolling meadows river valley towns secluded shorelines and solitary country roads here perfection is effortless and eloquent calmly waiting for you. Set yourself free where the river meets the sea and all that is heard is a forest awakening. Graphics: Old Growth Rain Forest, British Columbia © The Image Bank "I am not now that which I have been." [This message has been edited by Julian Lester (edited 03-28-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Mabel A. Dilley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Set yourself free where the river meets the sea and all that is heard is a forest awakening ... Fantastic lines, and so is the complete poem itself... Regards, Sudhir |
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
Julian, Nice thoughts. In you first verse, I think you need to make remembering and imagine the same - both should be either remembering and imagining or remember and imagine - see what I mean? And I would find another word for endarkment...something more known and more powerful...I hope that helps your piece a bit. Having lost my father a few years back I can fully relate to this. Panne |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Julian, I agree with Panne, but the soul is there. And the work once touched up will be a keeper. |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
Thank you for your critique as well as your comments. Both are most welcome and will assist me in raising the standard of my writing. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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Katherine Chandler Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 280Florida, USA |
I got so into this poignant write that ing's were not on my mind. I see the theory, but still feel the poem was perfect in its presentation of showing what was in your mind at the time. Beautifully moving, my friend..  KateShal  mGenuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. |
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Auguste 
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Julian, This is the first work of yours that I've had a chance to read and I have to tell you that I'm impressed. Such good writing. Thank you for sharing this. Michael Proust- |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Julian....walking is good for the soul, this poem proves that. Bob |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Nice piece Julian...it is very gentle, and tender. Thanks for the read..  K |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A lovely mood...James |
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KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
Very touching. I can not ever find fault with your poems. I am a fan ya know! The thing I loved about this one is the sweet spiritual aspects and the peace it briangs when I read it. Much that you write has that effect on me and I need that at this time. Thanks! Koko Passion,imagination |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
sometimes when we are moved by our heartstrings, we are not listening to, but feeling, the words.... as I felt this, very deeply, and I thank you for it.... sincerely.... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 03-30-2001).] |
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