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tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

0 posted 2001-03-27 09:57 PM

i knew very well
when i crystalized my wish
for display in the showcase
that a danger waited there...
perhaps cold, dirty fingers
would smear the polished surface
careless of fragile edges
fondle, with clumsy hands

and it wasn’t very long
before a touch so warm, so human
seeped through the glass
and made its way
through all transparency
it was then, the crystal spun
whirling into tender whispers
and so beautiful the dance

i didn't notice it was falling

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-03-27 10:00 PM

this is so pretty....wonderful!!

SEA

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

2 posted 2001-03-27 10:37 PM

Walk...no, run to the nearest publisher. Magnifico!

"I am not now that which I have been."

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2001-03-28 12:13 PM

TradeWind~
This is exquisitely done.
Applause !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

4 posted 2001-03-28 12:17 PM

SEA, thanks so much for the kind words
i'm glad you liked!

Julian, i appreciate your confidence! thank you so much for liking this one.

tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

5 posted 2001-03-28 12:20 PM

Marge, we must have crossed while each replying. lol thank you for such a kind
response, i appreciate it.

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

6 posted 2001-03-28 12:26 PM

a very good poem, the metaphor is wonderful

tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

7 posted 2001-03-28 12:46 PM

thank you Jamie, i appreciate your response.

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

8 posted 2001-03-28 01:20 AM

I thought this was so very beautiful and so descriptive. Thank you......Sue

Suetang

tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

9 posted 2001-03-28 07:34 AM

thank you so much for your reply, Suetag

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2001-03-28 05:32 PM

enjoy

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

11 posted 2001-03-29 11:09 AM

perhaps cold, dirty fingers
would smear the polished surface
careless of fragile edges
fondle, with clumsy hands

and it wasn’t very long
before a touch so warm, so human
seeped through the glass
and made its way
through all transparency
it was then, the crystal spun
whirling into tender whispers
and so beautiful the dance

i didn't notice it was falling
===============
this is wonderful writing tw...
your imagery is so unique and the employ of metaphor is perfect.
your descriptive vocab choices add to the imagerys pleasures
and the flow of this give the feel of free falling.
very well done
consider me a fan of your work

take care
jm

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

12 posted 2001-04-01 08:11 PM

very nice

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

13 posted 2001-04-02 12:42 PM

Awesome comparison!! I enjoyed this.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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