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Open Poetry #13
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Joyce Johnson
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Washington State

0 posted 2001-05-02 10:14 PM


At first the show is beauty incarnate.
I must resist its spell, for I am here to rate
Each lovely rose, by book and man-made rule.
I'll find the flaw, though it be minuscule.

This small bug bite, will keep it from the blue.
Discard this one for signs of residue.
Their beauty droops beneath our lofty scorn.
We all but hear, these little blossoms mourn.

We hurry on to find the perfect rose.
It's obvious now, there will be few of those.
At last success, not perfect, but the best.
We sip our tea and take our well-earned rest.

For us the show has lost its magic air.
We've judged with truth, a lusterless affair.
I now reflect, who are the losers here?
My joy in beauty dimmed now, by a tear.

So it is too, with poetry it seems,
At first perusal sharing in the dreams.
But looking more with just a critic's eye,
The joy one feels will vaporize and die.

A neophyte's poem, with overt clumsiness,
Is charming still, within its simpleness.
If scrutinized and taken line by line,
'Twill quiver and writhe and wither on the vine.

By Joyce Johnson  July 2000


© Copyright 2001 Joyce I Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2001-05-02 10:23 PM


This poses a very interesting question, Joyce. By looking for perfect form, do we overlook the meanings and feelings of the words or by looking simply at the words devoid of proper form, are they mere thoughts or actual poetry? There have been many discussions over this issue. Thank you for the thought-provocation...
JLR
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since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-05-02 11:40 PM


I am so surprised and enjoying this anal side of you...can relate in a way that is a story of it's own.  Where does the innocent beauty go when defined reason wins out?
Joyce Johnson
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3 posted 2001-05-02 11:50 PM


I wrote this after I had stumbled on to a forum where the established members were absolutely vicious to new and younger posters.  Since I am a flower show judge I thought of comparing the two.  a beautiful rose when critically examined is cast aside  as unworthy as these young poets were without crediting them at least for trying.  Do we have a class in this forum where poeple can learn and can post if they want criticism?  I did put a couple in the critical analysis and was helped a lot. I didn't really mean anything by my poem except I could see the comparison in my criticism of the rose and the criticism of a poem.  I find this forum to be very accepting of all comers.  Very friendly Joyce    

[This message has been edited by Joyce Johnson (edited 05-03-2001).]

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2001-05-03 12:03 PM


very interesting, and very well done...
be well...


Lauren~


***

Nothing Beautiful In This World
Is Ever Really Lost
All Things Beloved
Live on In Our Hearts...Forever."


Mike
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since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

5 posted 2001-05-03 12:07 PM


I can't pass up a rose poem,
nicely written, enjoyed muchly.

VAS
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since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2001-05-03 12:14 PM


Joyce, I think I've been on the same forum.  The goal of the one I visited seemed to be to weed out anyone that used rhyme, sweetness, uplifting thoughts.  In fact, it was like "If I can tear down everyone else, won't I look better?"  I've been around people that were that low in self-esteem, I've been one.  I hope I'm no longer guilty of such.

The sharp-edged critics call forums like PIP, "Pat on the Back Sites."  Well you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar to use an old cliché/adage...another taboo on that site.

You've done a marvelous job stating your point!

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2001-05-03 02:05 AM


Joyce~
Much compassionate thought in this piece.

Encouraging poets is something this site does extremely well.

Very nice comparison between the rose
and the blossoming poet ~

Nicely done, gal !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

suthern
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Louisiana
8 posted 2001-05-03 10:50 AM


Excellent comparison... very well thought out and written into delight. *S*
Trillium
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Member Patricius
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Idaho, USA
9 posted 2001-05-03 06:24 PM


Joyce:  Excellent poem!  Certainly gives a lot of food for thought.

Betty Lou Hebert

Irish Rose
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since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-05-03 08:09 PM


compassion is a rarity in this world we live in; I thank you for bringing it to attention.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


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