»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #13
»
The Dance
| Open Poetry #13 |
|
The Dance |
|
|
Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
From across the ballroom floor, ...I spy her radiant charms, A satin rose of beauty fair, ...her bloom mine heart disarms. She stands alone, a fragile stem, ...aglow in pulchritrude, What walls surround, yon flower there, ...protects from harm's intrude? How can one breech, what one can't see, ...to pierce translucent veil, To touch on shadows of the night, ...through darkness, heart impale? The music calls, a lover's waltz, ...to dance entwined as one, And yet alone, in solitude, ...she stands, 'til song is done, And yet alone, in solitude, ...I stand, 'til song is done. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
This is beautiful! Excellent write!  |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike--To dance without a partner is very sad..and your poem is lovely, of course. |
||
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I am just so blown away. That's two in a row from you that I have absolutely just loved. You have an awesome sense of time, it just flows all together in nearperfection. Beautiful word choice and incredible images and emotions. I am as near awe struck as I have been since that UFO landed on top of my dorm. Excellent work, I can't say it enough. You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb |
||
|
Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Insect, thank you for your gracious comment, glad you enjoyed. Martie, I always appreciate your wonderful replies. Hope the flower business is blooming. Masked Intruder, Rock Chalk... |
||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Excellent. I keep wanting the two to get together. the end came too soon. Joyce |
||
|
Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
did Eyes meet, did the hearts meet, though not a dance a lovers trance, this is beautiful. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I admire your work so much...this is just truly a graceful glide of a poem...as always...watching, reading, AND? taking notes! |
||
|
latin passion Senior Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 576 |
If I could dido comments from Joyce. I'm hopeful for the two. He is my pen, I am but the paper he |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
My GoodNess, Mike - That lady hasn't acquiesced to your charms yet??... Nice write, m'friend...  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent lines, Mike... quote: yes, a definite keeper... |
||
|
inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Wow what a beautiful waltz it was. I loved the way the words flowed and remember many a dances that if only he would of ask. |
||
|
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Sadly beautiful.....like the repetition and the slight change in the last two lines. |
||
|
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
She is just waiting for you to ask....beautiful |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I wonder just how this kind of thing happens. You certainly painted the scene with vividness and emotion. High school days, I wonder if there was someone like you on the other side of the dance floor watching me, aftraid to ask, while I stood alone, waiting. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
