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Open Poetry #13
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Her Music (a Choka)
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Her Music (a Choka) |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada 
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 ~*~ Her Music ~*~(a Choka) Breath within her soul Passion’s music she dispels Notes of purest love Sailing a sea of magic Fantasy her sail She drifts in a whispered voice And when her heart sings Seaward crystal clear echoes Resound her pure soul With closed eyes, I see that soul Saline tears escape For I am the truly blessed. Graphics: Moonandbackgraphics.com Please visit me at my new homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents/cfm/451673 [This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I don't see how your artwork and your poems get more beautiful everytime. This is lovely. Joyce |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
very nice, Sharon....can you define choka? |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'm also interested in this... sounds like one of those japanese syllable-based formats (which I love), only extended and different. Please elaborate on this.  |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Blessed am I...the reader! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Joyce: Thank you once again for reading. Balladeer: Thank you, and here is what I went by: Choka: Japanese form with alternating lines of 5 and 7 syllables with the last line or tag being a 7 syllable line. This type of poem has no particular length as long as the last line is 7 syllables. Ask Jeeves! He knows everything! Here is a rather awesome link to poetic terms, styles and do, and don't which I always don't and do! LOL http://poetry.about.com/arts/poetry/library/weekly/aa010901a.htm Allan see blurb above, but really the rules are different everywhere you read, but one thing is for sure they are all of Japanese invention! Thanks for reading. JLR - Thank you - you "hall of famer you!" Please visit me at my new homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents/cfm/451673 [This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Forgot a word in third stanza: Seaward...there that makes 7! [This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
thank you for the excellent explanation. I had thought that was the case but when I saw all three lines of your third stanza 5 syllables long I thought perhaps there was a deviation I was not aware of. At any rate, the writing is excellent [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
This is an outstanding first try at a Choka. The picture is soul it self and the sound of music haunts long after one finishes the read. I work with both children and adults with disabilities and use these short forms as therapy with them. Shalom "I am not now that which I have been." |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Julian: Thank you, couldn't have done it without your help. |
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KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
Nicely done Sharon! Choka means "long poem" in Japanese and the form may vary. The 2 most often seen are: 575 757 575 and 757 575 757 and maybe repeated and as long as the poet deisres in expressing. it is uusally love poetry in Japanese. others may be like 577 575 577 I did edit my earlier comment here as I recalled the definition incorrectly as looked back at my definition information in notes. Again though I hope this does add to something for your pleasure. I think the important thing is to capture the spirit which Mysteria has nicely performed. You have aas always created a very nice poem Aloha , Koko [This message has been edited by KokoStewartKoomoa (edited 04-30-2001).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mysteria~ You not only 'defined' it .... You wrote it perfectly -  Is that Balladeer sharp or what ?  Gosh darn that 'old-timers' anyhow ! Beautiful, beautiful .... and then beautiful ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Joe Houck Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324california |
wow....this is the first poem I've read of yours, but not the last. A lovely poem =) *JOE* |
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Martha Cowan Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 240Groves, Texas |
Wow!!! Absolutely intriguing, Sharon! You've stolen my heart with this one...and if it's your first attempt...someone clear the dancefloor, this lady is ready to take the stage!!!!!! (smiles) Beautiful as always! Hugs and smiles to you, Martha |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Koko: By the time I read all the directions I still was not sure it was right or not, but I appreciate the lesson...will print it out. Marge: As you can see I needed you - and there you are (mommy - help he he thank you for being here, don't leave please!Joe: I am glad you found me and now I shall go looking to read your work, nice to meet you. Martha: me too, was crying the whole time I was writing the darn thing. Started out as a little haiku, then Julian said to would make a great choka, said I, a what? So...she explained and hence Gracie was born! Thanks for shedding a tear with me friend. |
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kismetkelsey Junior Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 32Canada |
This was totally gorgeous my friend!Enjoyed the style and the subject very much.The last line left a huge smile!~Lovely!!~C |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Cheryl, honey this could be about you couldn't it? I am so glad you liked it, and I AM blessed knowing you and hearing your fantastic voice too. Thank you for dropping in. |
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