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Open Poetry #13
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-04-25 12:59 PM



any other one you'd choose
I could understand--
but this one is unhealing bruise
this one is the back of hand.

Any other fantasy
I would draw her perfectly
I'd wrap her in some silvered bow
and on a string, I'd let her float...

anything, you'd want, I'd give,
everything I would forgive,
I'd fill a box of pox of me,
and burn before I'd give to thee--
to burn and  die in effigy,
in eagerness to live.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

1 posted 2001-04-25 01:06 AM


I'm trying, but . . . ?

I'll come back . . .

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-04-25 02:17 PM


any other one you'd choose
I could understand--
but this one is unhealing bruise
this one is the back of hand.

Any other fantasy
I would draw her perfectly
I'd wrap her in some silvered bow
and on a string, I'd let her float...

anything, you'd want, I'd give,
everything I would forgive,
I'd fill a box of pox of me,
and burn before I'd give to thee--
to burn and  die in effigy,
in eagerness to live.
====================================

every line baby... every last word...
feel it deep ... and understand the rhymes weep.
this is so sad and so beautiful sen ....
and ya know what this moth is learning...
sometimes in the self sacrifice...
we give too much of ourself away...
and then? ... whats left to give?
why ask why baby...it aint easy being a moth
(need that tatooed on me keester)  
hugs me twin
me

Though my soul may sit in darkness,
It will arise in perfect light.
For I have loved the stars too fondly ...
To be fearful of the night.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-04-25 09:39 PM


if any but that one. . . *sigh*. . .

the sacrifices that we make. . .

sadness here. . .

----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-04-25 10:29 PM


I read it and re-read it, this is so special, the punctuation is flawless I believe, the wording is flowing, and the ending is not to be forgotten.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
5 posted 2001-04-25 10:41 PM


Somebody chose wrong?  It happens every day.
good poem.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2001-04-26 10:29 AM


enjoy
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2001-04-26 10:34 AM


Serenity,
Well that said it all. *L*

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