Open Poetry #13 |
absolute value |
desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
speak to me in riddles and rhymes with stories about tomorrow and ancient times a story a day for a thousand years with memories saturated from tears a touch a whisper a silent lie one plus one to make you cry from the pain almost too much to bear and sorrows so deep you can't compare tell me a story day by day to take my mind from what you say and though I sometimes throw it away and peak from a well so deep that you can throw a rock in it and never hear it fall as you wait for the splash, or the smack of something below you wonder what happened to the solid ground down there? was it washed away by tears? or did the fears he have destroy them? perhaps you should ask why I'm still here there are answers I've never found from questions that never had sound laughing and teasing to the edge of control begging and pleading to tear at your soul decline in your heart what you know to be true lose it all only to forget what you do smile laugh love for a taste whisper cry scream it's a waste touch me and say you understand what I do not break me and save me right here on the spot love me for who I am, and careful with your touch I've been broken, as a token, left with out a clue thrown away and forgotten, echoed like a whisper a faint sound of leaves rubbings hands and feet or sliding down the edge of infinity to amnesia where (X root pi) cubed under 1 is a graph of the moon's orbit and the darkness of the sun is the minds denial of life but if you subtract the glare and divide by 3 you will know what the darkness is worth as an absolute value and where you stand on the stage of life People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. --Soren Kierkegaard |
||
© Copyright 2001 James Webster - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is great.... "love me for who I am, and careful with your touch I've been broken, as a token, left with out a clue thrown away and forgotten, echoed like a whisper" I liked all of it, but this part is the best... SEA |
||
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Your work is always a treat, Des. (@)----> I will always enjoy it, and I very much liked this one, friend. |
||
Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Another beauty from your pen Desperado. I enjoyed. Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
||
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
James, Math. Whyyyy did it have to be math? This was...wow. I actually read this last night, but it was so late it didn't really absorb into my brain. So, I came back this morning to read it again. I just wanted to tell you, that I understand. I understand what you're saying. Sometimes we forget to look for the "Handle with Care" label when our own needs seem overwhelming and get in the way of the person that we truly want to be close to, the person who you always deep inside want to put before yourself. Once in awhile you need a gentle reminder to share just as much as you receive. We kind of parted on a weird note last week, but I just wanted to tell you that I miss you, and I'm thinking about you. The bus ride home was horrible. I'll have to tell you about that later. I hope you are having a good week. If we don't have ICQ, (i don't even had it on this computer, just AIM) at least we have PiP. Keep posting the poetry, and I'll keep me eye out during the day. *h&k* "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone |
||
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Bump. |
||
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
The only critique I would offer is there should be punctuation. Why? Because it helps the reader. In reading, you cannot here the other person. Every tone comes from the punctuation. If there is none, it can certainly mean different things to different readers, unless of course this is your intent! Enjoyed the poem very much. Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 03-26-2001).] |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |