I Twisted Into Knots The Contents Of A Girl

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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2001-03-25 05:47 PM

I Twisted Into Knots The Contents Of A Girl

How could the day have slipped
through fingers ground and sore?
How could the sky just swallow my intentions and swell?

I should have stapled the emotion to her wings -
piercing skin so worn it's thin,
flaked and aging in ways I'd never grasp.
There were too many reasons for the dismissal
across the length from here to then.

And how could we have woken
in total darkness and complete unknown -
and fall so wildly,...so frantic (alone)?
How could the sounds of yesterday
bring heat rising to my chin?

I know my fingers trace but seldom find,
the window's wrinkled glass all stained -
or the piece of her that shyly stayed into.

But I could never seem to fathom
what a slight of it would do.
What a touch of frame was capable of -
and I twisted, and I twisted into knots the contents of a girl.

And the ribbons on the ends,
were silk and blowing,
she traveled unknowing - and wept.
How could I have felt her there
and never make a sound?
How does the day get set so far,
and how does the moon view why?

See, I should have stapled.
I should have bled enough in twos to make complete.
I should have screamed!,...I know I should have screamed, instead of sigh.

[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 03-25-2001).]

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-03-25 06:06 PM

Intense, remorseful, questioning work. The title is incredible.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2001-03-25 06:08 PM

SpitFire~
You write from the depths of darkness
that is sometimes difficult to fathom ...
and yet ... a flicker of your light will light the way for another.

This is a tremendous talent you have, poetess !

I can't pay you a higher compliment than to say ...
it's saved and printed for a friend.
Thank you for sharing.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 2001-03-25 06:12 PM

SF,

Oh sweetie......I feel the pain here. Sometimes though, the scream won't come out. But when the time is right, it'll come. Just be patient. You're getting there. Take care you. ~HUGS~

LW

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

4 posted 2001-03-25 07:07 PM

wow-this was very unique and well done, Spit Fire! unusual and well put together words and images. one of the most interesting pieces i've come across so far

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2001-03-25 07:11 PM

excellent SpitFire. . . you always amaze me with the way that you draw images from your words. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2001-03-25 07:18 PM

A very dark, haunting piece...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-03-25 08:52 PM

How could the day have slipped
through fingers ground and sore?
=========================

I should have stapled the emotion to her wings -
piercing skin so worn it's thin,
flaked and aging in ways I'd never grasp.
There were too many reasons for the dismissal
across the length from here to then.
=====================================
How could the sounds of yesterday
bring heat rising to my chin?

I know my fingers trace but seldom find,
the window's wrinkled glass all stained -
or the piece of her that shyly stayed into.

But I could never seem to fathom
what a slight of it would do.
What a touch of frame was capable of -
and I twisted, and I twisted into knots the contents of a girl.

And the ribbons on the ends,
were silk and blowing,
she traveled unknowing - and wept.
How could I have felt her there
and never make a sound?
How does the day get set so far,
and how does the moon view why?

See, I should have stapled.
I should have bled enough in twos to make complete.
I should have screamed!,...I know I should have screamed, instead of sigh.
====================================

You are amazing...your writing is amazing...
I dont know whats more impressive about this piece....besides how deeply personal it is...
the imagery is awesome...
the uniqueness of the imagery and of the wording,-- of the phrases .. the depth of the immersion into the emotions.
very very cool write Spitfire.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

8 posted 2001-03-25 09:01 PM

excellent poetry. very well written and expressed.

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

9 posted 2001-03-26 01:59 PM

Hey A - haven't caught much of you lately, but thankfully someone sent me a link to this one. Would have been a shame to pass it by, because this one screams, it doesn't sigh.

Peace 'n' Hugs

C

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

10 posted 2001-03-26 09:09 PM

Oh whew, another chill maker here! Amazing write, S. Hope you are doing well, and planning for that wonderful trip.
S

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

11 posted 2001-03-27 01:15 AM

SpitFire--Incredible writing!

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

12 posted 2001-03-28 01:04 AM

~JLR, boy oh boy, thank you for what you've left behind. Much.
~Marge, ah Marge, I don't know what to say. Coming from you those words mean so much to me. Thank you. Truly.
~LoneWolf, thank you for always reading me and you're right, I am. (I hope). Smiled when I saw you'd visited. Thank you.
~Tradewind, what an awesome reply. Thank you for stopping and reading me.
~Sven, why thank you kind one for that reply, for reading and taking the time.
~Sunshine, I appreciate you reading and leaving your thoughts behind for me.
~Oh Lady J, how do I now respond to your response? You don't know what you do to my head. (ok so I'm laughing right now), your replies are just the coolest things. You see,...and _I_ can tell.
~Mike, why thank you poet for visiting me and for your reply, I appreciate it.
~Chris, quite nice to see you here, thank you for what you said. (and what clever wording).
~Sandra, you sweets are too good to me. And yes I am! Thanks for coming by! Talk soon.
~Martie, wow, thank you for leaving me that. You guys are great.
*Peace poets.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

13 posted 2001-04-01 08:20 PM

now this is impressive

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

14 posted 2001-05-27 08:26 PM

Oh Lordy, how could I have missed this, oh wondering now how many more I've missed....

Doing a search, you're talent is incredible.
I love reading you

Maree

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

15 posted 2001-05-28 08:22 PM

excellent writing, i really enjoy all of yours you've got so much talent an use it so well

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

16 posted 2001-10-14 06:44 AM

Oh God, it was so good to read this again, you leave me in awe A.
You are totally incredible!

Doing the library thing

Maree

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