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Open Poetry #13
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the hounds of time.......(pantoum)
| Open Poetry #13 |
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the hounds of time.......(pantoum) |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA 
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the hounds of time are on his trail 'neath stardust sky and sunlit moon grim silhouettes and ghostly wails the horrors of impending doom 'neath stardust sky and sunlit moon he stumbles in his panicked gait the horrors of impending doom they surely will soon seal his fate he stumbles in his panicked gait the hounds of time are at his heels they surely will soon seal his fate the end is close at hand, he feels the hounds of time are at his heels the smell of death is somewhere near the end is close at hand, he feels a gravesite soon to note his years the smell of death is somewhere near the time too short before he's gone a gravesite soon to note his years where hounds of time won't rest upon the time too short before he's gone a bed prepared for final breath where hounds of time won't rest upon until he meets them all in death a bed prepared for final breath grim silhouettes and ghostly wails until he meets them all in death the hounds of time are on his trail |
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| © Copyright 2001 Mike Powers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kay Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 70 |
reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe. Kay |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike~ please tell me the rules for this one.....it looks like a full bottle of Advil  very cool write SEA |
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Beckalini Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 151Yorkshire, England |
I am definitely intruiged by the form. Loved it! And the content of course. Great write ~Becky~ |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Kay...thank you for reading and commenting. I agree....I was in one of my dark moods when I began this one. SEA...I cut and paste these rules from one of Panne's explanations regarding this form. Here they are: "a poem of indefinite length made up of quatrains whose lines are repeated in a pattern: lines 2 & 4 of ea. stanza are repeated as lines 1 & 3 in the next stanza & so on. Sometimes the final stanza has a neat twist: although its 1st & 3rd lines are as usual the same as the 2nd & 4th lines in stanza above it, its 2nd & 4th lines are the same as the 3rd & 1st lines of very 1st stanza. This way, ea. line in poem is used twice, and the 1st line of the poem is the same as last line of the poem. Rhyme is optional." These can be quite challenging, but fun because sometimes you surprise yourself where you have been taken. I've posted two other pantoums, "The Orchestra" in this forum and "The Piper" in Open 12. I hope you give it a try but do have some Advil ready.LOL (The results are really worth the effort.) Becky...Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Well done Mike--indeed this does have a Poe-esque quality, intense and eerie. Great work. |
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Blackdrake Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 83Depends on the day :) |
there is only one word to describe this . Damn!! Mysterious is the shadow, walking down the path of light. ~~ ¥ ~~ |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Elizabeth...Thank you. I like intense and eerie things. This was a bit experimental for me. Blackdrake...I'll take that as a compliment...thank you.LOL Mike |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Mike, Terrific!! I was in here on the 13th - so don't know how I missed this one. I loved it - I loved the suspence of it and you took it somewhere different than where I expected it was going so loved that too. Just Super. Thanks for sharing this. Panne P.S. I tried the rictameter form in a piece called Drought but I lost it in the last line as I wanted that line as is - so I couldn't call it a double rictameter - lol. |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Panne...Thanks for your great remarks, they are much appreciated. I too, thought I was going to end up somewhere different in this poem. That's what is so magical about this form...at least for me...I'm never really sure what is going to pop up at the end. I'll check out "Drought" a little later. Mike |
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